Calling the Opponent Crazy is a Dishonest Way to Invalidate Their Point

I noticed feminists and manosphere writers are calling each other crazy, emotionally damaged, complete with fake pity and condescension. Sometimes it’s pretty obvious the writer is just being a jerk on purpose and wants to damage that person’s reputation. Other times, it seems the writer either truly believes their own words, or they lie very well and never drop their mask.

Well, I’m not gonna tell people to stop it “to be nice”. I just want to inform everyone that whether the opponent has mental problems or not, is completely irrelevant to whether their argument is correct or not. It’s usually just a quick way to make it look like the opponent’s argument has been invalidated. It’s dishonest and illogical. There are also disadvantages to using it knowingly.

  1. If you say “He has no authority on censorship, because he’s crazy”, what will you say if a totally rational, emotionally healthy person with a perfect reputation comes along and makes the same argument? Will you be a hypocrite, or say “Yes, he has authority on this topic, because he’s emotionally healthy, and should be able to censor whatever he wants”?
  2. We all have had something happen in our lives, and we complain about it on the internet. Unless you very carefully engineer your internet reputation, the opponent can dig up dirt on you, and claim you’re crazier than them, using evidence you yourself released. You thought talking about how you overcame depression and work burnout was inspirational? Nope, it will be used against you. You thought being open about stuff on the internet made you look brave? Nah, it just means you’re a crazy who can’t contain your emotions and have to spread them all over the internet.
  3. A manosphere writer shouldn’t cheer on the psychiatry industry, as it’s more likely to break him than his ideological opponents. Unpopular thoughts are often misunderstood and can be labeled as crazy. Don’t dig your own grave. No one will have sympathy when you fall into it.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | 23 Comments

Confession # 1: Saying Sorry

When I get irritated at an acquaintance and snap, I apologize to them. But what it really is, is an apology to myself. I feel I should have had better control over the expression of my emotions, and not let small things get to me. I feel shame about it, but no guilt. I know I should feel guilty, but I don’t.

I only feel real guilt if I snap at someone I love or genuinely like. Then, my apology really is addressed to them.

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That’s It, I’m Gonna Become a Nerd (+ about Girls in Tech)

My Gender Studies book said something I actually agreed with: that both at home and at work, women avoid tampering with technology if something breaks, and instead let a man fix it. The book says technology tends to “freeze” gender relations – men know technology, and women are dependent on help from tech-savvy men.

The book seems to say that it’s only cultural, and girls would be more technology-capable if only culture didn’t associate technology with masculinity. But I don’t think so. There is a lot to be said about interest for the subject.

When I was a kid, I never really got into technology, computers or anything like that. I wasn’t too interested, and I always felt somehow afraid of touching technology. Like it was too hard and I can’t possibly understand it. Well, I took a calculator apart once, wanted to find silver paper inside batteries, and stuck a needle into the electrical contact, but that’s it (and it was probably dangerous). But why did I think technology was so hard? It’s not. If a 13 year old kid can learn it and become an engineer in the end, why can’t anyone else? Sure, IQ varies and IQ matters, but even a little intelligence should be plenty to learn at least SOMETHING. Like how to hang up/change a ceiling lamp without being electrocuted.

Here’s something funny: I have a master’s degree in Materials, Energy and Nanotechnology. My boyfriend has a Bachelor in Latin, Bachelor in Art and some education in English Literature. Yet he knows a lot about computers and can always fix things and get things to work, and I didn’t know what a CPU was until a few weeks ago. Turns out he read about computers ever since they were available, because it’s fun and you can do cool stuff with them.

Feminists say girls don’t do technology because they only see men doing it, and not women. Because they have no tech-literate female role models. But now that I’ve seen Tim Samaras and my own boyfriend excel in electronics without any formal education in it, I feel pretty damn inspired to do the same. It doesn’t matter if I don’t become great at it, it’s supposed to be FUN. The fun is supposed to come both from the nifty results, and the process of mastering something.

That’s one thing I feel girls need to overcome: fear of failure. Girls tend to be more fearful on average, and according to some reports, give up more easily when things don’t go their way academically. And boys are more energized by challenge and want to see where the “adventure” ends… Why should girls not just do that? Why be filled with negative feelings when something is hard? Why think of something as a problem, instead of an opportunity? Is something terrible gonna happen if you stop worrying/being frustrated, and try harder/different methods/just have fun with it?

No, nothing terrible is gonna happen. And therefore I say I’ll become a nerd. Well, to an extent. Down with technological illiteracy, there is no excuse for it.

Posted in Men, Science&studies, Women | Tagged , , , , , , | 33 Comments

My Education Wasn’t Useless

In this post  I said my education in STEM was useless. But I’m not sure I agree with that anymore. First of all, a friend of my mom’s had a theoretical STEM education too, and still got a job in the field she studied. Obviously someone needs a Useless Intellectual like me for something, even if I have no expert practical skills yet. I was told “EVERYONE has to train and learn skills on their first job”. I will believe them now, and hope for the best.

I also want to admit my education provided me with some skills that are not easy to see initially. First of all, I now know where to find the information I need. Second, I developed curiosity in fields I wasn’t previously interested in. Perhaps I should call it general curiosity, because it applies to almost everything. I now have more hobbies and reading material than I have time for. Partially, the credit for that goes to Eivind Berge , but the university education is just as responsible. I’m not sure I’d be as knowledgeable and evolving as I am now, without them.

Last but not least, I learned social skills at the university. I learned to be ok with holding presentations in front of large crowds, singing in public and just plain old tolerating prolonged social contact (impressive for an introvert like me). None of that was imaginable to me in high school. I’m still an introvert and need time to recharge my energy after social gatherings, but now it’s less time.

Having said that, Tim Samaras is still much better.

 

Posted in Personal emo stuff | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Rape is not merely “sex without consent”

I was recently told by someone who is against feminism that this video shows real rape. I want to explain why it’s false.

1.Rape is not merely “sex without consent”.

It is surprising to me that someone who is against feminism adopts the most radical feminist definition of rape, but perhaps it should not be. Feminism permeates our culture, including social norms and morality. A lot of people in the West think that rape is correctly defined as “sex without consent”. They would be surprised to learn that this is not the legal definition of rape even in most of the feminist countries ( except UK, where this PSA came from) – most countries require some sort of force or a threat. These people are not the man-hating radfems, but in some ways they ironically act more feminist than the feminist states they live in. Unfortunately, with time the feminist states broaden the definition of rape more and more, agreeing that one need not use force or real threats to become a rapist. I fear we’ll soon all be like UK.

2.There is a difference between assholery behavior and criminal behavior

One reason why a normal person might think the video features a rape, is because the guy really WAS rude. He was not considerate and grabby. An average person might say “You don’t need to be so mean and socially retarded. If a woman is crying in bed with you, something is wrong and you should have known it – you should have stopped. Therefore you’re a rapist if you continue”. For some reason, people can separate being a lying friend (worthy of shunning) and being a fraudulent business partner (worthy of jail), but can’t separate being an asshole in bed and being a real rapist. I think they should not make such an exception for rape, as it is just another crime and does not require special justice rules. To continue to do so smells of female favoritism.

3.It is Ultimately the Woman’s Choice to Have a Backbone or Let Him Have It

You know what this video is? This is a girl, who decided that it’s easier to give the guy what he wants, instead of facing a potential situation where she has to fight her way out. He didn’t threaten her or anything, and he might not have rape on his mind at all, but she imagines he might threaten her, and might hit her, and therefore lets him have it . He has not done any of those criminal things himself, she just imagines that he might. And under UK law, he can be punished for her imagination. The video presents this as correct, right, and just as it should be. You, the viewer, is supposed to arrive at the same conclusion as the PSA: “Would you see rape? Oh yes, you would.”

But let’s talk about the choices of the girl. What is the point of letting that nasty man have it, if you aren’t even sure you’ve been robbed of a choice to avoid sex? You don’t yet know if he intends to rape you, or he is simply very insistent yet harmless, and it’s starting to scare you? I think M3 said it best (http://whoism3.wordpress.com/2013/08/09/more-random-musings-on-rape-culture-nonsense/ ):

“Assert your agency, if you feel you are about to be raped because of a misunderstanding regarding consent, and the sex you are about to have is not the sex you want, simply sit up, look at your partner and say:

“No”

And if there is any further attempts by the person to continue, use this second foolproof phrase to nail it home:

“Are you intending to RAPE me then?”

This one simple phrase should make it clear to any man that escalation has gone too far. If his intent was rape, then nothing would end up stopping him, but at least you asserted yourself and can now rightfully claim the status of victim having been acted upon against your will under duress due to threat of force. My guess is that 99.9% of men will stop right there. They may tell you to leave, or unceremoniously tell you to GTFO, or call you a SLUT for leading them on, but one thing you will not be is raped. Another thing you will not is be a voluntary victim and imagining you are being raped. That one line will empower you to get a clear intent to your partner that he has crossed a boundary. This will remove any idea from his mind that you are putting up token resistance or trying to keep your slut shield intact.”

In short, don’t volunteer to be a victim. Frankly, volunteering to be a victim can have dignity-lowering effect on your self-image, even with smaller stuff. Although I should add that M3’s method is not foolproof, since asking “Are you gonna rape me?” in a joking tone will do nothing to dissolve a man’s confusion. It should be said seriously, perhaps with follow-up questions.

Conclusion

If this was a straight up “Don’t be a rapist” PSA for guys, it would not make their “rape” so vague. It would show him overpowering a girl, putting a knife to her throat, threatening to kill or seriously harm her, something like that. This PSA is specifically vague because it wants to convince you it’s acceptable to put men in jail because the woman let him have it due to potential threat from him and thus volunteered to be a victim. This video is a part of the feminist program to convince men that they are responsible for women’s choices. They want you to agree that when a woman can’t find her backbone, you have to be labeled a rapist and face the consequences of that. And since I want women to have backbones and men to avoid spending time in jail for nothing, I strongly disagree that this video shows real rape.

Posted in Feminism, MRA | Tagged , , , | 61 Comments

”13 year olds are not ready for sex”

One argument for a high age of consent that seems to come up is that teenagers aren’t ready for sex. And it’s true – many teens are ready, and many aren’t. I wasn’t ready, I thought the idea of sex was icky, and therefore said no to everyone. Many of my friends weren’t ready. But I know girls who lost their virginity anyway, because her girlfriends had. Peer pressure can be powerful. Ready or not ready, they went for it just to fit in with their peers. It was no tragedy for them, and no horrible experience, but they didn’t enjoy it. We do a lot of things in our teens that we regret later, but life goes on (unless our actions result in horrible consequences. But I’m not a traditional Christian conservative and don’t believe sex inherently hurts a girl beyond repair).

On the other hand, I remember boys and girls who lost their virginity at 13, and were raving about how great sex was. They told me “You don’t know what you’re missing” and “There is nothing negative about sex”.

However, not being ready for sex is not a sign you’re still a child. A teenager might not be ready for sex, but they understand sex. Especially in a country with sex education in schools and homes. They understand it enough to say no if they don’t find the idea of sex appealing. They might be affected by peer pressure, and they might end up doing things they wish they haven’t, but they aren’t ignorant children.

Also, it’s needless to say that an age of consent law would do nothing to save your teenaged kids from peer pressure-induced fucking. It would be interesting to know what we should do to be fair to both types of teenagers – those that are horny, and those that are not yet ready.

Posted in Personal emo stuff, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 21 Comments

Where to find a good incel guy to date?

Recently I got this comment under my post “Good Reasons to Fuck and Omega or a Lesser Beta Male”:

“I know I’m obviously a little late in reading/commenting on this, but I’m wondering if you know a good place to meet incel guys? I’m not looking for the fwb thing, but feel that a man that is incel would more than likely make a better partner.”

I agree dating an incel can have some advantages, but want to note that like in any other group, there are good and bad men among the incels. I didn’t have a great answer to her question, and want to ask my readers. Where to find a good guy who will be a good partner, but also has no luck with women?

Posted in Men | Tagged | 30 Comments