The Godfather Series: How to Keep Loyalty in Marriage (SPOILERS)

I think Don Vito Corleone and Carmela Corleone are the cutest couple in the movie series. And that is despite the fact that not much attention is drawn to their relationship, and despite Carmela’s character being in the background much of the time.

The moment I noticed the significance of this relationship was during that intense scene where Kay announces to Michael that her miscarriage was an abortion. Prior to that, he still wants to keep the marriage and wants to make everything up to her, while she is sick of being married to a criminal mob boss and can’t take it anymore. The assassination attempts and the killing prove to be too much, and she wants out. The act of announcing she aborted his son insures, in her mind, that her husband will never forgive her and will have no choice but to give her up. And it works, and kills the marriage.

On the other hand, Michael’s father and mother stay together until death. Now I want to explore the differences between the two marriages, and why one failed and another survived, despite both living a mafia life, with all its dark sides.

Kay Adams and Michael Corleone

Michael_and_Kay

Kay is a regular American, while Michael comes from an Italian-American family. When Kay and Michael meet, Michael insists that all that mafia business is his family, but it isn’t him. He really doesn’t want to be a part of their activities. But then, his father is almost assassinated, and since family comes first, he voluntarily kills those guys for revenge. He hides in Sicily for a while, and even gets married to a Sicilian girl, who unfortunately gets blown up in the car bomb meant for him. Later he becomes the next Don. Eventually, when he asks Kay to marry him, he intends to make his business legitimate and crime-free within five years.

When abandoning mafia life turns out to be difficult, Kay grows angry and tired of living with it, and does this abortion speech. On one side, one can see her point, as Michael keeps giving out promises he can’t keep, and trying to conceal the full extent of his business. On the other hand, it’s hard to understand what Kay was thinking when she married him. He was involved in some really shady business. And shady business is not easy to simply get out of. Even if he does his best, his enemies might drag him back in, or kill him, or the cops will do him in.

Some will interpret her behavior as dumping a man because things didn’t go exactly as she expected. And others will interpret it as dumping someone who was lying a lot, and didn’t hold up his promises and therefore wasn’t a man of his word. I see both sides, but I gotta say I didn’t feel much sympathy for Kay.

Carmela and Vito Corleone

Vito_and_Carmela

Both Carmela and Vito come from the same culture. They marry early. To begin with, they are poor because cops offer no protection from a local bully who takes Italian-Americans’ jobs and wages. To begin with, Vito and friends do small criminality to make ends meet. But when the bully tries to press their money out of them, Vito kills him and hides the evidence. This makes him respected in the neighborhood, and his journey towards becoming a powerful mafia boss is begun. His wife Carmela seems to accept it, and even asks him to use his influence to help some specific people she knows and feels sympathy for. She knows he’s doing criminal stuff, but nevertheless remains on his team. And from what I see, she is always respected by her kids and everyone else. There is no sign that she’s a poor doormat who has no mind of her own. Here Here’s what her Wikipedia page says about her view on her husband’s business (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carmela_Corleone ):

“Carmela was disturbed by Vito’s change from a kind, quiet young man to a pragmatic and ruthless criminal. However Carmela seems to forgive Vito for his many crimes, because he remains essentially a good man who is devoted to his family. Devoutly Catholic, Carmela attends Mass every day to pray for her husband’s soul to keep him from “going down there.””

And this page (http://godfather.wikia.com/wiki/Carmela_Corleone ) says he never cheated on her or hit her, and that they had a loving relationship overall. But I’d have to read the novel to be sure.

Being a Team is Important

Carmela and Vito married when Vito was still just a regular working guy. They came through some rough times together. A husband doing certain types of crime becomes more acceptable if you want to survive, want your kids to survive, and you can’t rely on legal law-enforcement to protect you from wannabe-gangsters. And this is why I think Carmela never complained about it, like Kay did. She was “in on it”, and benefitted from it right from the desperate start. If Vito had a problem, it was not merely his problem, it was both of their problem. For Kay on the other hand, all that crime stuff seems to have always been Michael’s problem and his alone. She benefitted from his money for a while, but didn’t live his life, and wasn’t prepared to go all in. She did love him enough to become temporarily stupid enough to marry a mobster, but not enough to stick with him in case he can’t stop being a mobster within five years.

And this is what I conclude helps a relationship. Be a team. You get what you see, so take it or leave it. Don’t give out promises you can’t keep.

Posted in Movies&music, Personal emo stuff, Red Pill, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Girl Goes to Study STEM “because my parents said I’m so good at solving math problems in school”

This is going to be a bit of a confession. Probably resume-damaging. But whatever. The job-seeking process seems inherently dishonest and my gut feeling tells me it’s wrong.

Yesterday I read a National Geographic article about a famous engineer and tornado scientist/chaser Tim Samaras. He was one of the most careful chasers out there, which is why his death by tornado was such a surprise to everyone. His colleague Carl Young and son Paul Samaras were also killed. ( http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2013/11/biggest-storm/draper-text )

But what I found most interesting, was what he spent his adolescence on. Pay attention to the parts in bold:

“When the elder Samaras saw how much his son enjoyed tinkering, he took out a want ad for used television sets, then piled them all in front of Tim—who promptly took them apart, repaired and reassembled them. Meanwhile his mother had given up making him play Little League baseball after she noticed that he would spend game time in the outfield gazing not at the ball but instead at whatever in the sky interested him.

Samaras became a ham radio operator by the time he was 13 or 14, a radio repair technician at 16, a service-shop foreman at 17. He did not bother to enroll in college. Instead, in 1977 the high school graduate walked into the office of Larry Brown of the University of Denver Research Institute without a résumé. Brown saw something in the teenager and hired him. “Within weeks,” Brown says, “it was obvious he could fix things that my most senior technicians couldn’t.” By 20 Samaras had Pentagon security clearance and was helping to test, build, and explode weapons systems. “I get paid to blow shit up,” he would exult.”

At the age when he was picking radios apart and rebuilding them, I was making violent comics, paperdolls and other art. I even had my own little comic that was printed in the Saturday issue of a newspaper. Yet at a certain point in high school, kids were supposed to pick a direction of their higher education. And being an artist is really not lucrative or profitable. I went to this high school counselor with others kids, and she was supposed to help us pick a career based on our talents. I was quite good at high school physics, math and chemistry, so they suggested I study science. My parents also saw that I was good at those subjects in school, and also agreed I could study science. And so I did. I picked a program named “Materials, energy and nanotechnology”- it seemed to combine all the subjects I got an A in. It also sounded future-oriented, with its focus on renewable energy. Since it’s so future-oriented, I thought I’d obviously be useful with such an education. I thought maybe I could become a scientist and earn good money.

Already in the first few years at the University I could feel my education was educating, but not adding many concrete, practical skills. People in profession schools were already becoming plumbers, electricians and whatever else. I could do derivation and integration for you.

I had to give up the majority of my art activities to study, and at times it was really annoying. However, I still used my free time on art or something similar. To me, fun was fun – movies and art. And studying was work. I was doing it so I could earn more money later. Not because I naturally want to build stuff, or had a passion for renewable energy.

A friend’s father told me “You can’t learn much by studying like that”. At the time, I was hoping he was wrong. But after getting a Master’s degree and still not getting a job in the field, I think he was right. The education involved a lot of reading and solving problems from the book. Sure, we had some practical education too, but it wasn’t as much as would produce great skills. And if you want to become a real scientist, you better have top grades (mine are good, but not top). Right now, the only thing I feel truly confident in, is my ability to teach things I learned to other people. I could become a teacher. Except I hate interacting with kids or teens I don’t know very well, so it’s not an option. Any other useful skills I would have to work on, by .. working. Or training them at home in my free time.

And this is the pitfall for a “good student” girl who goes to study STEM because everyone thinks she’d be good at it. Being good at studying is not being actually useful in a subject. A good student girl wants to be paid for doing things a boy like young Tim Samaras will do for free. For fun. Who will actually be truly useful and good at age 25?

I’m almost useless for the STEM field. Compared to Tim Samaras anyway. I’m not even feeling bad about it – it’s just true.

Posted in Men, Personal emo stuff, Science&studies, Women | Tagged , , , | 31 Comments

Link time!

1. What Social Science Studies Should We Trust?

One study says feminists have better relationships, another says men who do chores have less sex. Whom to believe? Find out here:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rabble-rouser/201402/how-have-better-and-more-sex-maybe

And in general, I’m obviously not the only one who noticed that social and psychological sciences can be soft and unreliable: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rabble-rouser/201307/the-scientific-critique-mostly-psychological-science

“When can biological and psychological sciences be believed? When their  results and claims have been demonstrated and replicated by multiple independent teams of researchers, repeatedly, and with large samples.”:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rabble-rouser/201305/seven-reasons-why-you-should-distrust-science

2. Good News – If You’re Tired of Debating Feminists, You Don’t Have To:

Why arguing with a True Believer is useless, unless you do it in public:

http://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2014/06/18/stuffed-with-rubbish/

3.To Be Yourself – Or not?

The trap of “just Being Yourself” – why hold onto traits and habits that hold you back?

http://mattforney.com/2014/06/30/there-is-no-you-there-is-only-me/

On the other hand, having a core identity is good. Brainwashing starts with attack on your identity. Then come the accusations, shaming. And then they tell you that to survive, you must confess: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wSZVm7PXlM&feature=youtu.be

4. Black Knighting

Some MRAs and manosphere writers think it’s good to black knight and turn feminist rape laws on women themselves. Others think it’s wrong and impractical: http://elusivewapiti.blogspot.no/2014/06/wapitimail-women-raping-men-is-feminist.html

5. Spanking  – Fun vs. Duty, Gender Equality vs. Gender Polarity:

How to Beat your Girlfriend or Wife and Get Away With It: http://mattforney.com/2014/06/23/how-to-beat-your-girlfriend-or-wife-and-get-away-with-it/ (tongue in cheek). And here’s an AVfM response to it: http://www.avoiceformen.com/men/ladies-matt-forney-wants-to-be-your-daddy/ Seriously, is it just me or they took it way too seriously?

6. Cat

Last, but not least, here’s my cat. See how cute he is.

Bruce pics 017

 

 

Posted in Feminism, MRA, Politics, Science&studies, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Why Pedophilia is Not a Disease

I don’t believe pedophilia is a disease.

The reason why I don’t believe pedophilia is a disease, is because it does not inherently hurt the “sufferer”.

Nowadays, we have a tendency to define someone as sick when they do terrible things. Anders Behring Breivik was initially defined schizophrenic for killing 77 people, until a second set of psychiatrists evaluated him and found him sane. He was an ideologically motivated killer, but his actions were unfathomable to many.

Same with pedophiles who molest kids. Their actions are vile and disgusting to most people nowadays, and thus the perpetrator must be sick. Their conclusion is also supported by the fact that pedophiles are actually sexually different from normal people, and can’t stop their attraction to children.

But to me, there is no doubt that it’s an orientation. A socially and morally problematic one, but still an orientation. If it was a disease, the pedophiles themselves would be inherently hurt by their disease. Instead, they are only hurt by society forbidding their actions (or even just feelings, as even non-molesting pedophiles can be hurt by society). Hurting other people should not be in the definition of a mental disease, as it says nothing about hurting the perpetrators themselves. Being hurt by social ostracism should not be in the definition of a disease, because then anything can suddenly be called a disease. Including having unpopular opinions. At most, pedophilia can be called a handicap. Like being an introvert trying to find a job. Or being too picky in the sexual marketplace.

If any of this sounds pedophile-excusing to you, you are still conflating mental health with the issue of morality. They are two completely different things. It’s not the task of psychiatry to insert morality into the definition of mental health. The task of psychiatry is to study and deal with mental health alone.

 

 

Posted in Science&studies | Tagged , , | 25 Comments

Are Manosphere Women like Male Modern Feminists?

How similar are they? It’s hard for me to tell, as I’ve only been inside one of the movements/blogospheres. But for what it’s worth, here’s my experience.

Manosphere hates male feminists even more than they hate the female ones. Online feminists hate Red Pill Women, as far as I can tell, in a distinctly different way from Red Pill Men. In both cases, you’re considered a traitor to your sex by your opposition – someone who excuses and encourages bad behavior of the opposite sex. You’re also considered weak, unempowered and self-harming by the opposition.

Feminists follow a mainstream worldview. Women in the manosphere follow an unpopular antifeminist worldview. Actually, the women of the manosphere do not follow a completely unpopular worldview. Feminist understanding of the sexes is taught in the same universities that teach real biology and psychology. The latter clearly state there are biological sex differences. And sometimes, when you talk to people, you will notice they have internalized both views without feeling cognitive dissonance. You might hear someone say “there are no gender differences except genitals, there should be equality between the sexes already” and then quote a news article about some study that found that women are more emotionally intelligent, while men are more stoic. Frankly, the only difference between the manosphere views and real scientists are presentation, nicer tone, and more rigorous standards for finding facts. But the overall direction is the same.

Female feminists are sometimes annoyed by male feminists. Manosphere men are sometimes annoyed by manosphere women. But at the same time, being a woman in the manosphere can get you a lot of positive male attention. A manosphere woman who expresses empathy for men can really warm hearts, and sometimes even attract a manosphere man for herself. I wonder if the same thing happens for male feminists?

For both manosphere women and male feminists, being a big supplicator is bad. Feeling guilty over one’s sex is a good way to irritate people who are provoked by signs of weakness – and those are always around. However, I have so far not seen a manosphere woman who is so desperate to please the manosphere men, and so desperate to meet some list of requirements for being a good person, that she is emotionally crushed by “female guilt” and the inability to meet that list of requirements. I have, however, seen male feminists who have reached that point ( look at that: http://lyall.tumblr.com/post/42767719565 I see it’s called Feminist Guilt. Also, there is this: http://vultureofcritique.wordpress.com/2014/06/13/the-social-role-of-scapegoat-and-the-internal-feeling-of-depression-feed-on-each-other/ ).

Male feminists are sometimes accused of acting like a feminist to get into women’s pants. Manosphere women are sometimes accused of entering male spaces so they could be big fish in a small pool. How true is it? I don’t know. But there is nothing wrong with trying to get in someone’s pants, get a partner, or gain popularity in the blogging world. If you can do that AND do something good for the opposite sex… why not?

Posted in Feminism, MRA | Tagged , , | 17 Comments

The Advantages of Being a Public Loser

1)      You are relatable. Other losers like it when you speak publically about the problems losers usually have and call you brave for admitting your loserdom. Having loyalty of losers is less useful than having loyalty of powerful people, but it’s better than no loyalty at all.

2)      People aren’t jealous and don’t hate you cuz you’re beautiful.

3)      You don’t feel the pressure of looking good all the time. Expectations are low.

4)      Your pathetic life is an obstacle to overcome. You will look better compared to luckier/less losery people, when you actually overcome it.

5)      Since you’re outside the polite, friendly side of society, you’re potentially scarier to its members. With proper clothes and act, you get to seem like a potential serial killer without actually being one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15S0g8pG6HU

Posted in Personal emo stuff | Tagged | 6 Comments

The Pedophile Experience

As strange as it is, nowadays you can admit to having been raped or molested, and experience an increase in social status. If you do it very publically, you’ll be called brave, strong, and maybe even a hero. I mean no disrespect to those who had to endure real pain, and don’t make light of their problems. However, victimhood definitely sells, and stating the obvious is not evil. Sometimes fake victimhood works, too (as long as you don’t get caught).

Perhaps it’s even better when your story is halfway true, but you add more to it, for effect. Then it’s harder to be caught.

Just because, I decided to share my own stranger danger, molestation & almost rape stories. But I want you to remember one thing while reading them: they are absolutely true and they caused me no lasting damage whatsoever.

7 years old: The groping guy in our apartment complex

When I was about 7 years old, I was returning home from school. I was alone. I was walking up the stairs, and saw a young guy (late teens or 20s) staring at me. I passed him and right as I turned my back to him, he just grabbed my ass. I ran up the stairs. He only quit his groping and disappeared when I rang the doorbell. At the time, I didn’t understand his motivation, and thought he was trying to put something in my pants. Maybe a spider. It was pretty nasty and unpleasant. I didn’t tell my parents about this, and eventually stopped thinking about it.

5 years old: The very scary environmentalist

When I was 5, I played outside. I was behind my house. I saw a small passport photo on the ground, picked it up, and threw it into the basement window hole. After a few minutes I was going somewhere else, but a man suddenly grabbed my arm. He was tall, kinda fat and asian. He was very angry with me. I was terrified. I thought this was the dangerous stranger my parents told me about. The one who kills and hurts kids. The one you shouldn’t accept candy from. I was pretty sure I was doomed. But he lead me to the basement window hole, and started ranting about the fact that I threw two tiny pieces of paper in there. He demanded I crawl in there and pick it up. It was too deep for me though. Suddenly, about 3 guys appeared out on nowhere and defended me. One of them even got into the hole and got the paper out. I ran away before I could thank them, but wish I could have.

7 years old: The boys who kept ripping my clothes off

One summer, I went to a summer camp. One time, the kids planned to have a party in the middle of the night, instead of sleeping. That night, all the kids woke up and kept running around the dorm, causing chaos and “partying”. I was just trying to sleep through it, but the other kids turned the light on. The adults had no idea this was happening for quite a while. As I was trying to sleep, two specific boys kept harassing me. They would grab me and try to rip my underwear off, because they wanted to see a girl’s pussy. I fought them and mostly succeeded. They never got my underwear completely off. It was incredibly annoying and I just wished everyone would calm down and sleep. Eventually, the adults noticed what was going on, and forced everyone to go back to sleep.

 

 

Posted in Personal emo stuff, Politics | Tagged , , | 20 Comments