There is some kind of new opinion starting to spread about my relationship with Eivind, and I don’t like it. I heard it once, and decided to ignore it. But now, after hearing it a few more times, I kinda feel I need to put a stop to that.
So, Eivind used to be incel, and extremely angry because of both the effects of incel itself, and the fact that feminists passed a bunch of stupid laws preventing him from having sex in any legal way. He said he wouldn’t be angry and unhappy if he had a girlfriend. Then he got a girlfriend (me ). And surprise surprise, became very happy.
We’ve had a cute relationship for 1,5 years. We watch movies together, discuss stuff we are into and joke about everything. He hasn’t gotten angry with me even once all this time. Yet some total strangers on the internet have been telling ME (the person who knows Eivind the most and has the most contact with him) that he’s actually still seething with rage, and that getting a girlfriend didn’t help him one bit! “See, he’s still angry, his problem wasn’t involuntary celibacy after all. It’s misogyny/head problems/entitlement/whatever”.
Here’s the thing. He never said getting sex would make him into a feminist. Yes, some MRAs are a blow job away from feminism, but not everyone is so weak. His blog is called an antifeminism blog for a reason. It’s where he documents all the bad stuff that happens to men because of how justice has been perverted. It is in the nature of the blog to be ranty and hateful towards injustice and people who perpetuate it. It is hard to ignore what is going on in your own country.
But people only see the blog. But what they don’t see is how we spend a lot of time talking about pleasant things. They don’t see our jokes. They don’t see us curl up on the bed together, and watch movies. They don’t see how I’m actually the more moody worrying partner, and him the more happy and optimistic one. They don’t see that about 95% of the time, we’re calm and happy. All that stuff is only visible to us and our moms.
This is a great source of selection bias, don’t you think?
But even so, it’s a weak argument. Being upset by injustice is not an emotional problem, it’s a sign someone cares for more than just their own life and well-being.
So according to my observations, his problem was entirely sexual. It was easy to make him happy.