I Built a Computer

As you know, a few months ago I had the realization that for someone with such advanced scientific degrees with the word “technology” in the title, I didn’t have that many technological skills. Well, now I do have some, and feel really happy about that :)

Here is the computer:




Motherboard (which is quite tiny and looks a little lonely inside the cabinet):



Motherboard with CPU in it:


CPU with the cooler on it:


IO shield, the most aggravating part of building this computer:


I want to thank my boyfriend for helping me build through chat. This is the best kind of teacher – free, just as interested in the subject as you are, and totally untied to any other students who might take him away from your own learning time. And most importantly, you never feel stupid or bothersome for asking too many questions.

Posted in Personal emo stuff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

What Fifty Shades of Grey is Really About (IMO)

I have read two books out of three, “Fifty Shades of Grey” and “Fifty Shades Darker”. They were not particularly exciting or arousing for me, but I had to know what the fuss was all about. Now I have formed an opinion.

Like the literature it was inspired by (Twilight), it’s a wish-fulfillment story. And if you fantasize, you don’t deny yourself anything.

First of all, this book is a lot less about BDSM than people think. No wonder the real practitioners of BDSM think the book is misrepresenting BDSM. I would say the book doesn’t really attempt to show us true BDSM at all. It is pretty clear that Christian Grey’s taste for BDSM is due to the way he deals with early childhood trauma.

Second, it’s not about glorification of abusive relationships, either. All those feminist critics forget that the heroine wants this man, and pushes him in all sorts of ways, in order to get what she wants from him. She’s not a good submissive.

Here’s how the story goes, through the lens of my understanding. Virginal young woman meets hot, mysterious billionaire. They start a passionate relationship, sexual and otherwise. She finds out he wants her to be his submissive, and agrees to some of that in order to keep him. She wants him, but doesn’t really want him to hurt her. That’s not to say she doesn’t like many of his softer, less painful BDSM games, because she does. He does most of the work in bed, actually. In general, he entertains the girl in a variety of ways – sexual games, flying her on a helicopter, bringing her on his boat. Not only that, but he also thinks she’s unlike anyone he met with/had sex with/dominated before, and wants to keep her. He shows how much he wants to keep her to himself and from harm by stalking her, putting guards around without her knowledge, and controlling the company she works for. She is pushing against his control-freak tendencies, and eventually makes him less dominant, less mentally scarred, and not sexually sadistic anymore. Christian Grey might have a lot of monetary power, as well as intoxicating hotness, but Ana has the power to change him dramatically. Christian might be the Dom, but Ana is kinda topping from the bottom, emotionally.

To me, it reads like one of those stories where a woman fixes a hot, but emotionally hurt/broken man. That kind of romantic plot is not uncommon. I remember a few people on the Purple Pill forum were confused about why a romance with a somewhat emotionally weak guy would be so hot, if women can’t tolerate displays weakness. I think the Nostalgia Critic explains it best. For me, he does it better than most red pill writers, despite being a little feminist. In this video, he explains why Loki from the Avengers has so many fangirls. Christian is different, but there are some common reasons for why both of them are appealing. If you listen to it, you will hear the reasons for liking bad guys, powerful guys, and for liking men who are not stoic:

Taking Nostalgia Critic’s explanation into account, I can say Fifty Shades of Grey is popular because it has everything a good female fantasy would have. The guy is hot, smart, confident, entertaining (not boring), powerful and rich. And to make it possible for a woman to have all that, he has a vulnerability only someone really special can fix. And for that, he’ll be forever grateful and give her his undying loyalty.

What do you think Fifty Shades of Grey is about?


Posted in Movies&music, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Antidepressants: Good Only for the Severely Depressed

Warning: I’m not a doctor, just sharing useful documents and links.

Recently, they were arguing about antidepressants on TheRedPill subreddit. Some said SSRIs are bad and you should eat well&exercise instead, others saying you need drugs to lift depression. Well, here’s the information I’ve discovered in my Introductory Psychology textbook , and I think both sides have some merit.

1. Here, Zoloft was not much better than a placebo when it comes to helping depressed kids and adolescents:
http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=197920 , http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=197174 .
Both groups showed notable decreases in self-reported depression. Placebo patients showed 85% as much improvement as those who received sertraline.

2. Reanalysis of the data from several major clinical trials revealed that antidepressant drug effects exceeded placebo effects only for the most severely depressed 13% of the patients:
The benefit of medication for severely depressed people is substantial.

3. Recovery rates for psychotherapy and the combined drugs & psychotherapy treatments did not differ for less severely depressed people. However, combination of drugs & psychotherapy yielded the best recovery rates in more severe cases of depression: http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=497959 .

This makes me think that unless your depression is severe, you might well cure it by eating well, exercising, eating vitamins, sacrificing a goat, or doing whatever else you truly believe in. You will also probably cure it by getting some psychotherapy. But if your depression is severe, you’d probably need drugs as well.

Posted in Science&studies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

The Nice Guy is the Most Mysterious Man

I noticed how both me and a few other women stumbled upon the same thoughts regarding those nice, sweet, romantic guys who give compliments, gifts and other stuff during the “get to know you” phase of the relationship.

They are mysterious, and not in a good way. Such a man puts all the focus on her. By doing all this, he prevents her from really getting to know him. When he’s doing his “flowers&compliments” routine, the girl wants to ask: “Yes, I know I’m beautiful, thanks. But what about YOU? Who are YOU? What have YOU got on the inside?”

The nice guy doesn’t come across as “being himself”, and perhaps this is why so many feminists hate him. They think he’s trying to charm the pants off a girl, even though a real charmer would be able to do that without arousing suspicion. To a woman who isn’t a feminist such a guy is often just boring. Since he’s not “being himself”, he’s like a salesman who never shows the product. I think women want a man whose personality they are attracted to, AND who appears real to them. Kind of like men prefer women who are visually attractive to them, AND don’t look like it takes a ton of effort. Any sign of fakery is found unattractive, and sometimes even morally judged.

What do you think?

Posted in Men | Tagged , , , , | 39 Comments

Legal Incest Isn’t Wrong

You probably heard of this story: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2922059/New-Jersey-legislators-rush-ban-incest-anonymous-father-daughter-reveal-plans-marry-children.html Daughter met her father after being estranged from him for 12 years, they have sex, and get engaged. I guess it makes some sense – he was never a proper father to her. Meeting him was probably like meeting a random older dude.

And while I know lots of people find it gross, “ew” is not a legal argument. Preventing the possibility of babies with birth defects also doesn’t hold up as a good reason. Not all incest results in babies. Plus people with defects and defect genes are allowed to procreate. Women over forty are allowed to procreate. If we want to prevent babies with birth defects, we should be consistent about whom we persecute. What should be done to prevent defective babies from being born? Should one force the mother to abort? Maybe sterilize the women in the risk group (women fucking their dad/brother, women over 40, women with genes for Harlequin syndrome…). Or maybe let the baby be born, but jail the parents and give the baby away for adoption. It doesn’t matter if the parents were married since 20 and had several babies already – having kids over 40 increases the risk of Down’s syndrome.

I don’t know why relatives would want to marry though. Don’t they already have rights to each other’s stuff, and things like hospital visits?

Posted in Politics | Tagged , , | 22 Comments

“OK, You didn’t rape her, but this still left us with an unpleasant impression of you”

Once it was clear that the UVA gang rape story had no basis in reality, President Teresa A. Sullivan promised to lift the ban on Greek life activities, if fraternities signed a new contract with the school that is designed to discourage binge drinking and enhance safety measures at large parties:


“Anthony P. de Bruyn, a spokesman for the university, said in an e-mailed response that “the Greek organizations have until January 16 to sign the new agreements, developed by the student groups themselves, and we will have no further comment or action until that date has passed. We remain hopeful that all groups will commit to these reasonable protocols designed to improve student safety.”

Two fraternities — Alpha Tau Omega and Kappa Alpha — said Wednesday they would not sign the contract, arguing that their policies are more stringent than what the university outlined and assailing the decision to suspend the houses.”

That reminds me of an old joke.

One family invited another family to a dinner. The dinner went well, and the guests left. Later that day, the host family discovered that their diamonds went missing. They called the guests, saying:

– After your visit, our diamonds went missing. We know you took them. Please return them immediately.

The guests responded:

– That’s not true. We didn’t take them.

The families couldn’t come to an agreement and the conversation ended. In a few hours, the host family calls again:

– Ok, we have found our diamonds. They were in the wrong drawer. But this incident still left an unpleasant impression of you.

Posted in Feminism | Tagged , , , | 11 Comments

Western Men vs Russian Men

Recently I was watching those extreme makeover shows, where they take a tired old woman and make her look like a youthful fresh woman. I was surprised by certain differences between the English-speaking (Australian, British, American..) versions and the Russian ones. And while I’m aware that reality TV is not real, I can’t help but feel the differences reflect differences in cultures.

In the Western shows, the woman could be a single mom, but most often she has a supportive husband who loves her and just wants her to feel better about herself (and probably have sex with him more as a result).

In the Russian shows, things are a lot less comfortable for the woman. She might just be tired from taking care of a chronically ill toddler, but her husband is already halfway out the door, and feels too embarrassed to take her to office parties. Or he already left her for a younger woman, and she is on the show to pick herself up. Or she’s being beaten. One woman even came on the show to improve herself for the time when her boyfriend comes out of jail, which is where she found him in the first place. It’s horrifying stuff. Many of these women probably need a therapist more than they need a makeover.

I only lived in Russia until age 12, so I don’t know how the dating scene really is. But my mom lived there much longer. She told me that these shows do reflect certain cultural themes. For a long time, there’s been a man shortage in Russia, first due to WW2 and then possibly due to a short male life expectancy. It makes women desperate, and gives certain men the opportunity to be naughty. Also, Russia doesn’t have the same beliefs. In Russia, you can say stuff that in USA would create a feminist uproar.

Manosphere men complain so much about Western women, and how crappy their attitudes are, because they are allowed to have them. All because of feminism and too many options. Perhaps certain Russian men are like those Western women – not particularly attractive, ask for a lot and give too little? Perhaps the gender with the most options gets the opportunity to be naughty and has members that abuse their options? If that’s so, I think I like Western (specifically Norwegian) men more than the Russian ones. It’s no surprise I’m dating one. Perhaps I’m doing so for the same reason many Western men like Asian women.

P.S.: I’m not saying Russian men are generally bad. All men in my family are/were great. But because Russian men have more options, they are naughtier to women on average.

Posted in Feminism, Men, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments