The Personal Is Not Political

“The personal is political” is a slogan of the student movement and the second-wave feminist movement from the late 1960s. It’s a way to remind yourself that your personal problems are connected to larger social and political structures. That is, if you change those social and political structures, your personal problems will go away.

It’s easy to see how such way of thinking can lead to wanting the state to solve all your problems. Are you a bored housewife? Make the state fix it. Somebody made you feel uncomfortable? Make the state fix it. However, I don’t think the slogan is purely bad. It’s reasonable to differentiate between purely personal problems, and those tied up with politics.

Say you can’t get laid, but it’s illegal for you to buy sex. This is both a very personal problem, and directly caused by politics.

Say you need an abortion, but it’s illegal where you live. This is also both a very personal problem, and directly caused by politics.

Yes, it’s reasonable to differentiate purely personal problems from the political and personal ones. And in my opinion, separating yourself from politics is also more mentally healthy. There is you, and there is the outside world. It’s comforting to know you have this personal space that’s reserved only for you, and no one else can control it. I believe taking “The Personal is Political” to extremes means that you always question whether your personal actions fit your ideology. Does using makeup aid the patriarchy, or hurt it? Does being fat and naked attack the patriarchy’s beauty standards, or does it just give the male gaze what it wants? Talk about performance pressure, and never truly owning yourself. It’s a way to overrate how much the tiniest of your actions affect the outside world, while you pointlessly dissipate your own energy. It’s mentally spinning your wheels. At least, this is the impression I got from many online feminists. One reason I’m writing this post is this quote by an autistic butch lesbian feminist with a BA in Women’s and gender Studies: (http://theothermccain.com/2015/03/31/gender-insanity-for-45078-a-year/ )

“Other times, honestly, I just don’t like to think about my gender as a conscious political undertaking at all. I know that “the personal is political.” I know that no action or belief can possibly be apolitical because every social institution on every scale is steeped in ideology. But sometimes I just get so tired. Sometimes I want to just be.”

Indeed, why not just be?

Murder is Ok, but Threatening Rape or Calling a Lady a ”Quim” is Simply Going Too Far.

I decided to dive deeper into the Avengers/Thor fandom, partly because I like the movies, partly out of nostalgia (I used to read a lot of fanfics), partly because I’m writing a superhero comic and want to find out more about why some fictional guys end up with so many fangirls. Because if I write a villain, he has to have fangirls. You know your villain is a successful villain if everyone wants to bang him.

Anyway, I want to talk about Loki. I noticed he has some normal fans, and some “apologists”. Normal fans and fangirls think he’s cool as he is, bad and sympathetic. But there are also people who can’t seem to handle the fact that he’s bad, and try to make up excuses for him. That could be “Thor and Odin killed people too”. Or it could be “He was mind-controlled the whole Avengers movie” (I hate that one the most, because it robs a cool character of their whole character and agency). I even remember reading that screenwriters themselves are mean to Loki, because he’s the nerd among the jocks, looks vaguely Jewish compared to his Aryan-looking friends, defies gender norms by using magic instead of brawn. Thus the movie is racist, sexist, and teaches us that nerds are evil.

They are entitled to their own opinions of course, but so am I. And to me, this kind of thing looks like the fictional version of looking at a killer in jail and saying “I looked into his eyes and felt that he was innocent”. And if you like some bad guy, IMO it’s best to at least not hold any illusions about him.

But there is also another explanation. Some viewers end up sympathizing and identifying with this character, and maybe projecting something of themselves onto him. Lots of people say Loki is kinda feminine in some ways, so it’s no wonder that fangirls identify with him. He can shapeshift, he uses magic (women’s work) and is feeling overlooked the same way some women feel overlooked in the man’s world. Lots to identify with, for some.

But then he says things that make those who identify with him feel conflicted about their identification. One is threatening to “pay Thor’s girlfriend a visit”. He actually doesn’t mention sex at all, but a lot of people’s minds jumped directly to rape when he said that. Is a rape threat implied, or is it just a typical reaction for those affected by feminist rape hysteria? Could be either. Anyway, the second troubling thing he says is his threatening speech to the Black Widow.

“I won’t touch Barton. Not until I make him kill you; slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear. And then he’ll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I’ll split his skull! This is my bargain, you mewling quim!”

I had no idea, but I just checked, and quim actually means vagina. He called a woman a cunt!.. It’s funny how it went over most people’s heads. Some did find out though, especially feminist geeks, and found it offensive and uncharacteristic.

I guess it sucks when you start liking a character because he seems to fit a whole bunch of SJW-decided victim classes at once, but then he disappoints by acting like the oppressor class. Damn villains, acting like villains.

Five Issues Core to Men’s Mental Health

Nataliya Kochergova:

Interesting thoughts about male-specific expectations in society. I heard problem no. 1 outside the ‘sphere more than once.

Originally posted on In The Mind of Men:

I’ve criticised The Good Men Project several times in the past for having too much feminist content about women and too little content about and for men. It is, after all, supposed to be about men’s issues and I get frustrated with how much it focuses on women.

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I Built a Computer

As you know, a few months ago I had the realization that for someone with such advanced scientific degrees with the word “technology” in the title, I didn’t have that many technological skills. Well, now I do have some, and feel really happy about that :)

Here is the computer:

Cabinet:

Motherboard (which is quite tiny and looks a little lonely inside the cabinet):

Motherboard with CPU in it:

CPU with the cooler on it:

IO shield, the most aggravating part of building this computer:

I want to thank my boyfriend for helping me build through chat. This is the best kind of teacher – free, just as interested in the subject as you are, and totally untied to any other students who might take him away from your own learning time. And most importantly, you never feel stupid or bothersome for asking too many questions.

What Fifty Shades of Grey is Really About (IMO)

I have read two books out of three, “Fifty Shades of Grey” and “Fifty Shades Darker”. They were not particularly exciting or arousing for me, but I had to know what the fuss was all about. Now I have formed an opinion.

Like the literature it was inspired by (Twilight), it’s a wish-fulfillment story. And if you fantasize, you don’t deny yourself anything.

First of all, this book is a lot less about BDSM than people think. No wonder the real practitioners of BDSM think the book is misrepresenting BDSM. I would say the book doesn’t really attempt to show us true BDSM at all. It is pretty clear that Christian Grey’s taste for BDSM is due to the way he deals with early childhood trauma.

Second, it’s not about glorification of abusive relationships, either. All those feminist critics forget that the heroine wants this man, and pushes him in all sorts of ways, in order to get what she wants from him. She’s not a good submissive.

Here’s how the story goes, through the lens of my understanding. Virginal young woman meets hot, mysterious billionaire. They start a passionate relationship, sexual and otherwise. She finds out he wants her to be his submissive, and agrees to some of that in order to keep him. She wants him, but doesn’t really want him to hurt her. That’s not to say she doesn’t like many of his softer, less painful BDSM games, because she does. He does most of the work in bed, actually. In general, he entertains the girl in a variety of ways – sexual games, flying her on a helicopter, bringing her on his boat. Not only that, but he also thinks she’s unlike anyone he met with/had sex with/dominated before, and wants to keep her. He shows how much he wants to keep her to himself and from harm by stalking her, putting guards around without her knowledge, and controlling the company she works for. She is pushing against his control-freak tendencies, and eventually makes him less dominant, less mentally scarred, and not sexually sadistic anymore. Christian Grey might have a lot of monetary power, as well as intoxicating hotness, but Ana has the power to change him dramatically. Christian might be the Dom, but Ana is kinda topping from the bottom, emotionally.

To me, it reads like one of those stories where a woman fixes a hot, but emotionally hurt/broken man. That kind of romantic plot is not uncommon. I remember a few people on the Purple Pill forum were confused about why a romance with a somewhat emotionally weak guy would be so hot, if women can’t tolerate displays weakness. I think the Nostalgia Critic explains it best. For me, he does it better than most red pill writers, despite being a little feminist. In this video, he explains why Loki from the Avengers has so many fangirls. Christian is different, but there are some common reasons for why both of them are appealing. If you listen to it, you will hear the reasons for liking bad guys, powerful guys, and for liking men who are not stoic:

Taking Nostalgia Critic’s explanation into account, I can say Fifty Shades of Grey is popular because it has everything a good female fantasy would have. The guy is hot, smart, confident, entertaining (not boring), powerful and rich. And to make it possible for a woman to have all that, he has a vulnerability only someone really special can fix. And for that, he’ll be forever grateful and give her his undying loyalty.

What do you think Fifty Shades of Grey is about?

 

Antidepressants: Good Only for the Severely Depressed

Warning: I’m not a doctor, just sharing useful documents and links.

Recently, they were arguing about antidepressants on TheRedPill subreddit. Some said SSRIs are bad and you should eat well&exercise instead, others saying you need drugs to lift depression. Well, here’s the information I’ve discovered in my Introductory Psychology textbook , and I think both sides have some merit.

1. Here, Zoloft was not much better than a placebo when it comes to helping depressed kids and adolescents:
http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=197920 , http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=197174 .
Both groups showed notable decreases in self-reported depression. Placebo patients showed 85% as much improvement as those who received sertraline.

2. Reanalysis of the data from several major clinical trials revealed that antidepressant drug effects exceeded placebo effects only for the most severely depressed 13% of the patients:
http://lefnet.hu/resources/userfiles/file/tudomany/KeriSzabolcsCikkGyujtemeny/Fournier%20JAMA2010.pdf
The benefit of medication for severely depressed people is substantial.

3. Recovery rates for psychotherapy and the combined drugs & psychotherapy treatments did not differ for less severely depressed people. However, combination of drugs & psychotherapy yielded the best recovery rates in more severe cases of depression: http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=497959 .

This makes me think that unless your depression is severe, you might well cure it by eating well, exercising, eating vitamins, sacrificing a goat, or doing whatever else you truly believe in. You will also probably cure it by getting some psychotherapy. But if your depression is severe, you’d probably need drugs as well.

The Nice Guy is the Most Mysterious Man

I noticed how both me and a few other women stumbled upon the same thoughts regarding those nice, sweet, romantic guys who give compliments, gifts and other stuff during the “get to know you” phase of the relationship.

They are mysterious, and not in a good way. Such a man puts all the focus on her. By doing all this, he prevents her from really getting to know him. When he’s doing his “flowers&compliments” routine, the girl wants to ask: “Yes, I know I’m beautiful, thanks. But what about YOU? Who are YOU? What have YOU got on the inside?”

The nice guy doesn’t come across as “being himself”, and perhaps this is why so many feminists hate him. They think he’s trying to charm the pants off a girl, even though a real charmer would be able to do that without arousing suspicion. To a woman who isn’t a feminist such a guy is often just boring. Since he’s not “being himself”, he’s like a salesman who never shows the product. I think women want a man whose personality they are attracted to, AND who appears real to them. Kind of like men prefer women who are visually attractive to them, AND don’t look like it takes a ton of effort. Any sign of fakery is found unattractive, and sometimes even morally judged.

What do you think?