I had a long talk with a commenter named Kazan. I said that feelings are not under our control and thus neither morally right nor wrong. This is what I got as a response:
“Feelings are mallable, although not at our immediate command. It is possible to reflect about one’s feelings, and have different attitudes towards one’s feelings – I might for example feel schadenfreude at somebody’s misfortune, but recognize this emotion as undesirable. We have attitudes to our feelings, some we desire, some we feel ashamed by. By reflecting on our emotions we form them. Thus feelings are linked to what we think and believe. Feelings do not come from nowhere, flying in the wind like spores that attach themselves to us randomly, they express character and opinions, and we do take part in the formation of our own character. As you yourself described by the thought process you recommended in the “hypergamy” thread”
It makes sense. I still don’t condemn feelings, but how we deal with them is an action, which could be judged. I realize that I’m for both strong effort to change feelings AND against repression of feelings.
On one side, I hate attempts to repress my feelings. I tried that as a kid and get rid of any negative feelings, which lead to a buildup of nastyness, which I let out at 15 and was really nasty for a while. It got better and I became a genuinely better person (not a fake pretend one) after a couple of years, through experiencing love and by conscious effort.
On the other hand, I don’t like mindless lack of control over yourself, or never trying to make yourself into a better person. I guess I see some feelings as worth getting rid of (hypergamy, because it’s an obstacle to happiness) and some as worth accepting (hate).
One of the things I noticed when I moved from Russia to Norway was how much nicer everyone was. People smile. Teachers don’t scream at you. It was great, and I’m pretty happy about those things, except after a while I noticed the dark side of it. Weirdness, anger or unhappiness was less allowed. It wasn’t just me, my mother also noticed it. She always had work while in Russia and couldn’t get one here for 10 years, and was mostly blamed for it and later for her dissatisfaction with the way she’s been treated. Why can’t people be positive and not think you’re crazy/to blame for it because you’re weird, sad or angry about something?
That leads me to the main point – hate is a very underrated beautiful thing. Everyone recognizes the beauty of love, but few people know how to appreciate good hate andthey shun it like it was a shameful feeling. But think about it – there are things in the world worth hating, just like there are things worth loving. And this positivity cult is one of the former.
Hate is a thing worth keeping especially in a place where negative feelings are seen as a pathology.
The only thing you have to be careful about is not to hate pointlessly and not to let it hurt you. If you’re gonna be a good hater, hate joyously and hate those who deserve it. Roissy is not exactly someone people would call a hater, but he’s got some great joyous hating skills.
Maybe you don’t want to be a hater, but you might be one of those people who wants to say a loud fuck you to those who think any negative feeling or dissatisfaction is a sign of mental illness, evilness or is “unhealthy”. Accepting negativity has been the healthiest thing I’ve done in my teens, and it even brought me more respect, not to mention made me into a much better person later.