Ok, first of all, I’m kinda for fat acceptance. If someone chooses to be fat, it’s their choice, everyone can f*ck off. A person can also choose to tattoo themselves all over, have a hundred piercings in their face, be a scientologist, attempt to sky dive and do other things you find dangerous, repulsive or something you just can’t agree with, but that is their life, not yours. On the other hand, I feel fat acceptance is being polluted by lies and attempts to regulate what others think. I mean, if you tattoo your face, you will get reactions. Some people might find you unattractive and refuse to date you. That’s THEIR life, their choice.
So here is the article that to me, sums up what I hate about fat acceptance of today:
Woman marries, gets fat, husband tries to bring attention to it by joking about it (not the best way I know), and then pretty much says it’s not okay. Wife doesn’t think losing weight would help their marriage.
“”You want people to think you’re walking into a room with a beautiful woman?” He nodded. “They do,” I said. I realized then that losing weight would not add fat to the marriage.”
Then it’s not clear from the article when she loses weight, but then they become divorced (it doesn’t say who did it). She goes through 16 months of therapy to restore her self-esteem.
Now, we only hear her side of the story, so I wouldn’t conclude anything, but it was the comments that are the best part of it.
“Nothing wrong with being in shape, but if you really love someone it’s not all about shape. It sounds like the author’s husband was too shallow/surface to appreciate her.”
“Wow, so I have to applaud you for writing something so personal, but after reading some of these comments I realize even more why people don’t write about their own weight or appearance issues. Obviously not having to look you in the eye and make the comments makes these comments easier to say. I think more people have self esteem issues than would like to admit and so take their anger out on someone who wrote a really honest article.”
“Wow, I’m so sorry you had to listen to that garbage! Guys who talk like that to their wives are scum, and don’t deserve you. What’s wrong with these guys who want their wives to look like kids?”
We can love someone out of shape, but will we be attracted to them? A lot of people aren’t attracted to fatness. If they marry a fit person, this is what they sign up for, they don’t sign up for you letting yourself go. I would argue it is disrespectful to let yourself go in a marriage. This person you are with are only allowed to have sex with you – it’s a rather major sacrifice. They could be with someone who cares about them more, but they are with YOU. So not keeping yourself in the best shape is uncaring and disrespectful.
“But what if you get cancer and lose your hair?” someone asked. The answer was “you choose fat, you don’t choose cancer”. Yes, there are people who are fat due to gland problems, but it’s not the majority. Usually, something can be done about the fat, which, instead of making everyone feel offended, should make them feel better – these things are more within your reach than you think.
Great comment that brings up some great points:
“I would all believe this article if I did not see women wearing construction boots under summery outfits every time I went out recently.
My point is that when your lifetime partner tells you what he prefers to see on you it is a cardinal sin, but when other women stick their head to a turkey and walk around, it is fashion, it is time to shop for a turquoise turkey.
Is the author really sure she is genuinely looking at her true self or she just replaced her husband with shopping windows?”
If you’re finally throwing off the oppressive taste of your significant other or whatever, at least don’t run under the next oppressive rule, or else you’re a hypocrite (not to mention it’s kind of embarrassing to care more about strangers taste than your SO’s). Plus if you care what other women think, but get offended when your husband is embarrassed to be seen with your fat self, be a little more understanding.
In the end, what you do is your choice. Getting fat is okay. Choosing to date fat people is okay. Choosing to date only thin people is okay. But same applies to other people, so don’t get pissed off when they use their freedom of choice.