Your happiness is in your hands, part 2

Tip 2: Don’t be a reactive caring asshole.

After The Karamazov Idea was almost doxxed, both I  and Free Northerner  made posts about it. I noticed we both realized that the outrage is fueled by people who simultaneously claim to not care about offensive opinions, and at the same time spend a lot of time bitching about things they “don’t care” about. It culminates in someone deciding they are gonna do something to themselves, just to spite the blogger:

“I’ve been seriously toying with the idea of getting a tattoo for quite some time now but have been on the fence. Now, thanks to the Karamazov Idea… I know I definitely want one! So thanks a bunch douche bag!”

” This makes me want to chop off my hair to filter out people like you.”

“See, the thing is, your article just makes me WANT to cut all my hair off.

If that’s a promise that it’s going to put guys like you off attempting to get me in to bed?

Well hand me the clippers and goodbye Goldilocks!”

(Last 2 quotes are from Vox’s hair length thread)

Ask yourself, would you be a happy person, if you couldn’t go online without being seriously affected by other people’s opinions and preferences? Do the people quoted have control over their lives, or are they following a reactive life plan, defined by likely everyone else but themselves?

There will always be people out there, thinking nasty things about you. Some will think you’re an idiot, laughable, ugly, a slut (or virgin, if you’re a guy), sociopathic, broken according to their own standard, etc. Some people will even wish you would die. If you let them define you by doing the opposite of what they recommend, you’re still conforming and letting them have the power. You’re letting them win. Instead, follow your own plan, defined by things more important than random comments on the internet.

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8 Responses to Your happiness is in your hands, part 2

  1. Liz says:

    Well said. But then, the vast majority of posters on the internet are full of shite anyway.

    “That does it! I’m getting a tattoo now because of what you said!” is about as likely as “that does it! I’m holding my breath until I die now!” People debate by extreme because they think it makes their arguments more compelling (and they’re playing highschool).

  2. Martel says:

    You’re absolutely correct. However, in a feminized society that’s not how people think.

    Men know that our success or failure depends on our own actions and people’s opinions are of secondary importance. Women are more physically dependent and therefore need to rely more on others’ goodwill to be successful.

    Hence, the need for “sensitivity”. All the time.

    But thanks for being a voice for common sense in the other direction.

  3. Pingback: Hackers, Spammers and Haters | D A R L I N G

  4. Dale says:

    I can feel for you and Free Northerner. Having angered a group (most likely from the Jezebel site) several months ago with several opinion pieces, I had angry people commenting on my blog with what I viewed as an intent to silence me. Rather than disagree in a civil manner, it turned into negative attacks on my writing style, creativity and ;personal character.

    Considering the spirit of my posts was to call out the fact I believe Lindy West uses hate tactics, I believe my heart was in the right place. But from what i could see, someone on Facebook was sending people to complain as my traffic had spiked substantially and only on the Jezebel related posts. The traffic vanished once people seemed to have vented their anger. The net result is I think even less of people who use troll tactics to try and silence others.

    I say keep on blogging your own opinions regardless of what an angry and sometimes anonymous mob does. We should be able to express our own beliefs without someone trying to bully us into silence.

    Thanks for sharing!

    -Dale

    • emmatheemo says:

      Thanks for the thoughtful comment. I guess angered mobs will come and go, and it happens even when you’re fairly moderate and don’t express shocking opinions.

  5. themakeupartist says:

    Speaking of angered mobs….


    (This guy seems familiar)

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