Throw them out of your life. At least, that’s the conclusion I reached through life experience. I noticed that once a person shows certain characteristics, it’s not very useful to give them a second chance. If I have enough friends and acquaintances, perhaps I don’t need more, and thus don’t need to try my hardest to draw the best out of bad friends.
Here’s my experience:
1)I accidentally broke my friend’s shoe. I was apologizing over and over, while she was saying “your apologies are unimportant to me”. Later, she accidentally broke my hat. I was crying over it and she told me it was all my fault anyway. I still continued being friends with her. Later I learned she stole from everybody, including me.
2)Another friend and I had different interests, but liked to hang out. One day, we promised each other that first, we’ll take care of the friend’s interest, then mine. But at the end of the day the friend was too tired to do my stuff, and said we’ll do it another day. Another day we met again, and the same thing happened.
3)Another friend got mad at me for not being supportive the right way (I offered advice instead of pure emotional support), and demanded something I wasn’t in the power to get for them. I told them it was rude, and they offered a fake apology, disguised as a real one (essentially “I’m sorry YOU are so unreasonable”).
There are other examples, but these are most memorable. Anyone who does anything close to that, I dump. If I can’t avoid them, I deal with them only as little as possible. Because the moment they act like that even once, it shows me that
1)This person probably doesn’t care about me.
2)This person is only interested and friendly as long as I keep giving. If I have nothing more to give and need help myself, they will turn their back on me.
I must mention that these three people had problems in their lives too, like bullying or lack of other friends, and some even had psychiatric diagnoses. But this doesn’t excuse their behavior at all. I also have other friends with similar problems (bullying, lack of friends or partners, psychiatric diagnosis), and they don’t act like that. A harsh life is not an excuse for shitty behavior.
What do you do with friends and acquaintances who do this? Should I be more forgiving?