My Views on Fat Acceptance and Fat Shaming

First, some background info on my personal tastes and habits.

I like fat men and women. They are hot and I want to accumulate more fat myself. You’d think I’m bragging, but it’s harder to gain weight than you think. It’s like the body opposes your wishes, whether you try to gain or lose. In that sense, I can kinda see what fat people are feeling, but on a smaller scale.

Male-Body-Type-Chart-Ottermode-Builtfat-Bearmode-S

The lower row >> the upper row

I'd rather look like this fattie than Megan Fox. I mean "fattie" as a compliment.

I’d rather look like this fattie than Megan Fox. I mean “fattie” as a compliment.

On the other hand, I realize I’m just not putting enough effort into working out and cooking tasty meals I can eat. I’m always busy with something else. I simply forget to eat sometimes. I really think skinny people who say “I eat all I want and don’t gain a pound” don’t actually eat all that much. They put the plate away once they are slightly full, they don’t eat for comfort, and overeat only occasionally. But to them, those times they overeat seem like a lot.

Apart from fat people, I also like truth and believe in not being a dick to anyone for no reason. I think it’s completely unnecessary to be nasty to someone who is fat. Or a drug addict, or tattooed, or into extreme sports. Bad treatment is only for people who are bad and deserve it.  I thought the Fat Shaming Week was kinda retarded and immature. So in a way, I could fit right in with the fat acceptance crowd. I won’t fat shame anyone because it seems unnecessarily bitchy and probably won’t work. I shamed my mom for smoking since I was a baby (cuz I love her and feared for her life obviously) – and she shamed me for biting my nails. I told her I’ll quit biting my nails when she quits smoking. Today, I still bite my nails, and she still smokes.

However, I like truth too. And fat acceptance in theory (“be nice to fat people”) is totally different from fat acceptance in reality (“lets lie to people”). Kinda like feminism.  Here are the lies and silly arguments I’ve encountered before:

1)       “Fat people shouldn’t be made to pay extra for a plane trip, because you don’t pay for fuel, you pay for a contract”.

I heard that one once, but it’s worth mentioning. I can’t help but wonder how the author expects the plane company to earn any money, when flying a heavy person brings them negative income? I don’t think we merely pay for the contract, I do think plane company’s resources also matter.

2)      “Don’t be a dick to a fat person, maybe they have thyroid problems”.

So what they’re saying is that it would be ok to be a dick to a fat person, if you knew they were fat because they ate too much? I would think one shouldn’t be a dick to anyone.

3)      “Skinny doesn’t equal healthy, fat doesn’t equal unhealthy. Thin people can be unhealthy and fat people can be healthy”.

All of this is true, but in general, fat is not a marker of health. Lots of fat people don’t have high blood pressure and cholesterol. Hey, when my mom came to Norway, her health check revealed perfect health, even though she’s been smoking for 20 years.

An unhealthy thin person would not become more healthy if they were fat, they would likely be worse. And a healthy fat person would be even healthier if they lost a little weight through reasonable methods. Fat absolutely does increase risks of health problems, but it doesn’t mean you can’t become healthier without losing weight. And you can get away with being slightly fat, but would be wise to avoid being obese.

What I find silly about this argument is the implication that we somehow need it to prove being a dick to fat people is bad. It IS bad, whether they are healthy or not. And what I find atrocious about this argument is that it makes people think fat has no negative impact on their health. I’d rather know the truth about dangers to my health and deal with them, rather than pretend the dangers are not there!

4)      Last, but not least, I would like to mention a general inherent problem that seems to be present in the fat acceptance movement. The ideas of health at every size, and beauty at every size imply that fat is just as good as lean, just different. But it rests on a false foundation, and thus doesn’t produce real happiness for people, unless they are especially attracted to fat like me. When I read fat acceptance posts, I can sense many of these people are merely tolerating their bodies. And they seem a lot angrier than fat fetishists and gainers, who are too busy enjoying fat to be upset about anything. Many can’t even tolerate the word “fat”, while I use it as a compliment and take it as a compliment. I really don’t think you can love your fat or other people’s fat until you at least get warm fuzzy feelings inside after being called fat.

I hate this lie, because it tells people “If you feel unattractive when you are fat, it’s all society’s fault”. If you feel bad, why not just change what you feel bad about, and not cling so much to what’s true “in theory”? Maybe you just don’t find fat very attractive. Maybe it’s not society, maybe it’s just your taste? Why force yourself to become a fat admirer, when you clearly aren’t?

 

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20 Responses to My Views on Fat Acceptance and Fat Shaming

  1. Liz says:

    I agree with you on all points, Emma.
    I would guess that fat shaming week (somehow I missed this, but I’m generally oblivious) was probably intended to be a satirical “answer” to fat acceptance (which is not the same as tolerance), but yeah…kind juvenile.

    • Emma the Emo says:

      It probably was that. I can’t imagine someone would be helped by those articles. Although fat shaming is considered a potential cure to obesity in some circles around here, common sense tells me more is needed to motivate people.

  2. Ashley says:

    When I first found out about the fat acceptance movement, I was pretty rejecting of it. I thought they were all just making excuses and trying to attack thin women. I fought with the bloggers within their comments section and was banned from quite a few of their sites. It took me about a year of continuously reading their blogs to get the idea out of my head that they were not just making excuses for their fatness and that they did not have an agenda against thin women. They were just trying to accept their bodies for what they are and I began to respect that. Still, I don’t agree with everything they write, and I doubt I ever will. But I generally am pretty supportive of them. I began to feel a little bit of empathy when I was fat shamed (even though I am thin) for eating my own birthday cake. I got the “You might be little now but if you keep eating like that you’re going to get a fat “secretary’s ass.” Then, I began to see fat shaming more and more and how it doesn’t just hurt fat women, it hurts thin women too.

    • Liz says:

      It’s the internet, Ashley. The mockers will come. It’s often their one joy in life.

    • Emma the Emo says:

      I haven’t seen them attack thin women so much. Like you, I’m cool with people who just want to stop the self-hate and be happier. Not everyone can do it by losing weight first (especially if they don’t know any good methods yet). Some people are stuck in a self-destructive dieting loop where they lose and regain more weight. Doing the same thing and expecting a different result is insanity.

      I think everyone could use more emotional strength in this area. Someone sometime said “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”, so there you have it. If they made you feel bad you might be agreeing with them deep down. It’s so easy to make thin women feel fat. It’s ridiculous. I’m not sure it’s fixable on a large scale, or desirable to make life criticism-proof, but I have faith in individual potential for improvement of every woman. I mean, is it better to teach people how to walk well, or even out every little bump on the ground all over the earth, so no one ever has to fall (+hope that those bumps never reappear anywhere by chance)?

  3. Eric says:

    Emma:
    Admittedly, I didn’t follow much of the ‘Fat Shaming Week’ it seemed like more nonsense and attention-whoring out of the Game crowd (something they make a habit of). Besides, in the Anglosphere where anywhere between 1/3 (the United States) and 1/4 (the United Queendom) of women are fat slobs and utterly indifferent to male attitudes—what is the purpose of ‘fat shaming’?

    A better approach would be to point out that no man in his right mind finds so-called ‘big and beautiful’ women attractive—contrary to all the media hoopla—and call on society to stop shaming MEN who aren’t politically-correct and ‘fat positive’.

    http://www.mrafront.blogspot.com/2012/09/less-fat-positivefat-acceptance-more.html

    Wherein the author notes, the hypocrisy of feminist women who push ‘fat acceptance’ while keeping their own SMV high.

    • emmatheemo says:

      I think the Fat Shaming Week was, to a large degree, a reaction to all the fat acceptance pushing and the lies/misconceptions of the fat acceptance movement. If you are told “fat women are as hot as thin women, you are shallow if you think otherwise, by the way I deserve a male model despite being fat”, you will get angry after a while. You would want to hit those people with their own insecurities.

      I still think most men don’t get completely turned off by fat, especially if the WHR is low. Yeah, a lean, curvy figure is still better, but I just don’t think fat is a total boner killer (and fat people are still reproducing). However, the relationship to fat in the ‘sphere is very strained due to everything already mentioned, so no one will admit that. That’s what it looks like to me. However, I don’t live in a fat country, so can’t know for sure.

      • Eric says:

        Emma:
        That’s likely true, and I can understand part of the anger involved—although a lot of the Game/PUA guys act as badly as the feminists with their own entitlement attitudes. But I think if men turned their backs on the obese, neurotic Anglo-American female and pursued lithe and slim women instead, (and thumbed their noses at the PC shaming language besides) that would hit the ‘fat acceptance’ crowd’s insecurities a lot harder than Shaming Language, because it would be tangible. But for some reason, most Americans (of both genders) think that trying harder and self-improvement is too difficult, so they’d rather just throw hyperbole back and forth.

      • FuriousFerret says:

        “But I think if men turned their backs on the obese, neurotic Anglo-American female and pursued lithe and slim women instead, (and thumbed their noses at the PC shaming language besides) that would hit the ‘fat acceptance’ crowd’s insecurities a lot harder than Shaming Language, because it would be tangible.”

        LOL. Men ARE going after the thin women which is a big reason for the mess that is the SMP. When a girl is actually in shape she has so options that it would make your head spin. That’s why she has the attitude and the flakiness and all that jazz.

        The reason you see decent looking guys with some status with fatties is because that’s how bad it is. Men are basically dumpster diving because even with all the good qualities on paper they are missing the dominance factor (which is the foundation of attraction) due to feminist indoctrination.

        You can guess where that leaves plain old beta/omegas without many attractive qualities.

      • emmatheemo says:

        And lets not forget how many men are fat themselves. They have even less reason to forego fat women. So collective male efforts to make women lose weight by prefering thin women have more obstacles.

      • Eric says:

        Ferret:
        Not only do the few attractive women have all the options, they further exclude desirable men by thug-chasing. It’s actually the ‘alpha/beta’ archetypes who do without quality women while the ‘omega/zeta’ types monopolize all the sexual action.

        “The reason you see decent looking guys with fatties is because that’s how bad it is. Men are basically dumpster-diving…”

        True—but it’s a bad strategy for men which will cause them vicious circles in the long run:

        http://www.no-maam.blogspot.com/2004/02/bonecrker-57-approaching-fatugly-chicks.html

    • Emma the Emo says:

      To summarize: If you are shamed for not liking fat as much as thin, you’ll be more likely to say fat is totally disgusting – an opinion more extreme than the one you would express if you didn’t receive the shaming.
      (talking in general here)

  4. Tim says:

    Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes if youre a woman.
    Men still need to be tall, lean and muscular to be considered physically attractive

    • emmatheemo says:

      Is that another criticism of the fat acceptance movement? Lol, then it reminds me of this: http://www.slapcaption.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Real-Men-Have-Curves.png

      • emmatheemo says:

        Ah, yes, I’ve seen this hypocrite before. Love all the comments that are like “Why are you objecting? Because fat and thin don’t belong together?”. Yeah, how dare you discriminate, fat girls should have the right to be picky, shallow bitched too! Lol

        (btw, I don’t think it’s shallow to like fitness, it’s the hypocricy I mind)

    • FuriousFerret says:

      “Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes if youre a woman.
      Men still need to be tall, lean and muscular to be considered physically attractive”

      In terms of how females determine masculine looks. I would go with height, facial aesthetics and not being a fat ass or a twig. Muscularity is more to impress other guys. Unless you are completely jacked they really don’t give a fuck between lean in shape versus muscular and built.

      • Tim says:

        by muscular I meant having a good structure and being broad.
        The definition of male physical beauty is definitely more narrow than womens. Women can be short, tall, thin, petite, curvy, chubby etc and still be considered physically attractive.

        I’m just amazed at how lost the male perspective is on society.

      • Eric says:

        Tim:
        “I’m just amazed at how lost the male perspective is in society.”

        Keep in mind that the femihags have had complete domination of our schools and media now for an entire generation. This kind of thing is bound to recoil on men too (although to a lesser extent than with women). We’ve reached a point today where a handsome, successful man is shamed socially for preferring attractive and beautiful women, while thugs are applauded as ‘real men’. And vice-versa with women: beautiful women are shamed and lampooned while ugly femihags are set up as desirable:

        http://www.theantifeminist.com/the-big-lie/

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