LaidNYC recently announced the Virginity Stories Week http://laidnyc.wordpress.com/2013/11/01/virginity-stories-week-a-call-to-action/ and would like his readers to post a fun story about how they lost their virginity. It seems only guys posted any stories so far, but it’s open to girls too, so I thought – why not? 🙂 My story is kind of special and funny (although many people know much of it already) Enjoy!
Background: For reasons I still don’t understand, I was scared of sex until the age of 19. When it all changed, I knew that theoretically, I wanted a boyfriend. Or at least casual sex. I was thinking of riding the carousel, but a wise guy friend told me it will make me look bad and slutty, so I didn’t (thanks, friend, you know who you are!). Instead, I spent a couple of years lamely and ambiguously hitting on classmates, hoping someone wanted a relationship. It didn’t work.
Who: Then, at 22, I discovered this really weird, creepy (or so I thought at the time) MRA blog… The author was an incel, MRA and antifeminist. He was saying feminism made women too picky by redistributing wealth to them, and giving them unearned positions through affirmative action. He was also saying the feminist ban on buying sex from prostitutes made him unable to get sex anywhere, and he was gonna slaughter a cop as revenge.
Why: For a long time, I had a soft spot for all sorts of undesirable men, but I never imagined a handsome, non-fat, non-acne ridden man would end up among them. So I thought – I’m 22 already, and my sexuality is going to waste. And this man here needs to get laid. And I could live out one of my biggest fantasies.
How: I emailed him and offered a FWB arrangement.
Of course, I’m not reckless, so I talked to him for 3 months (gosh, I made him wait way too long..), spoke to his ex, and made us take an STD test to determine that he’s not dangerous to me. It was pretty obvious though, that he wasn’t (trust but verify 😉 ). Funny, how scary everyone thought he was online, and how he felt, at the same time, as the safest guy to have sex with.
Then I took the short flight to his city. Our plan was to have a dinner date and then have sex. But I noticed that he was leading me straight from the airport to his apartment. I realized it was a sign sex was gonna happen right away. When we were in his apartment, he asked “Are you hungry?”. “It can wait” – I answered, thinking he was asking that just out of politeness. And then we took our clothes off and had sex three times. One moment a virgin, another moment – nope. The whole thing was kind of unreal. But exciting.
Then we got dressed and had our (expensive..) dinner date. He insisted on paying. Later, I found out that the reason he was leading me to his apartment straight from the airport was for the purpose of leaving my bags there, not to have sex instantly. However, he was glad he didn’t have to sit through a dinner date before sex, as he would be worried about saying the wrong things and turning me off.
Aftermath: We tried to be FWB. I thought FWB meant being real friends and having sex sometimes. I didn’t know it’s an unrealistic way to do FWB. Pretty quickly we caught feelings (virgin and former incel, why did I think it could be different?) and turned into a long term couple.
[EDIT]: Forgot to mention. He abandoned his violent plan once he got me. Sexlessness can lead to violence, and sex leads to peace 🙂 Fuck an incel, make the world a better place.
Lessons I learned from this:
1) Heartiste might be right. If you’re beta, you have more chance with a chaste girl than a woman who has had 80 partners http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/08/21/sluts-are-not-less-discriminating/
2) If you’re hopelessly sexless, you might as well say what you think on the internet. Don’t be PC. Don’t listen to fucktards who essentially say “You’ll never get laid unless you become a feminist and say all the nice things”. Say outrageous stuff. Someone out of the 1000s of women who read it might bite.
3) If you’re a girl, getting commitment after sex might work pretty well, especially if you had stuff men like (youth, not too many partners, nice treatment of the guy), and the guy hasn’t got many options at the time. Likewise, I think holding out until marriage is useless if you have little value beyond sex, and the guy has options.