Virginity Loss Story

LaidNYC recently announced the Virginity Stories Week http://laidnyc.wordpress.com/2013/11/01/virginity-stories-week-a-call-to-action/  and would like his readers to post a fun story about how they lost their virginity. It seems only guys posted any stories so far, but it’s open to girls too, so I thought – why not? 🙂 My story is kind of special and funny (although many people know much of it already) Enjoy!

Background: For reasons I still don’t understand, I was scared of sex until the age of 19. When it all changed, I knew that theoretically, I wanted a boyfriend. Or at least casual sex. I was thinking of riding the carousel, but a wise guy friend told me it will make me look bad and slutty, so I didn’t (thanks, friend, you know who you are!). Instead, I spent a couple of years lamely and ambiguously hitting on classmates, hoping someone wanted a relationship. It didn’t work.

Who: Then, at 22, I discovered this really weird, creepy (or so I thought at the time) MRA blog… The author was an incel, MRA and antifeminist. He was saying feminism made women too picky by redistributing wealth to them, and giving them unearned positions through affirmative action. He was also saying the feminist ban on buying sex from prostitutes made him unable to get sex anywhere, and he was gonna slaughter a cop as revenge.

Why: For a long time, I had a soft spot for all sorts of undesirable men, but I never imagined a handsome, non-fat, non-acne ridden man would end up among them. So I thought – I’m 22 already, and my sexuality is going to waste. And this man here needs to get laid. And I could live out one of my biggest fantasies.

How: I emailed him and offered a FWB arrangement.

Of course, I’m not reckless, so I talked to him for 3 months (gosh, I made him wait way too long..), spoke to his ex, and made us take an STD test to determine that he’s not dangerous to me. It was pretty obvious though, that he wasn’t (trust but verify 😉 ). Funny, how scary everyone thought he was online, and how he felt, at the same time, as the safest guy to have sex with.

Then I took the short flight to his city. Our plan was to have a dinner date and then have sex. But I noticed that he was leading me straight from the airport to his apartment. I realized it was a sign sex was gonna happen right away. When we were in his apartment, he asked “Are you hungry?”. “It can wait” – I answered, thinking he was asking that just out of politeness. And then we took our clothes off and had sex three times. One moment a virgin, another moment – nope. The whole thing was kind of unreal. But exciting.

Then we got dressed and had our (expensive..) dinner date. He insisted on paying. Later, I found out that the reason he was leading me to his apartment straight from the airport was for the purpose of leaving my bags there, not to have sex instantly. However, he was glad he didn’t have to sit through a dinner date before sex, as he would be worried about saying the wrong things and turning me off.

Aftermath: We tried to be FWB. I thought FWB meant being real friends and having sex sometimes. I didn’t know it’s an unrealistic way to do FWB. Pretty quickly we caught feelings (virgin and former incel, why did I think it could be different?) and turned into a long term couple.

[EDIT]: Forgot to mention. He abandoned his violent plan once he got me. Sexlessness can lead to violence, and sex leads to peace 🙂 Fuck an incel, make the world a better place.

Lessons I learned from this:

1)      Heartiste might be right. If you’re beta, you have more chance with a chaste girl than a woman who has had 80 partners http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/08/21/sluts-are-not-less-discriminating/

2)      If you’re hopelessly sexless, you might as well say what you think on the internet. Don’t be PC. Don’t listen to fucktards who essentially say “You’ll never get laid unless you become a feminist and say all the nice things”. Say outrageous stuff. Someone out of the 1000s of women who read it might bite.

3)      If you’re a girl, getting commitment after sex might work pretty well, especially if you had stuff men like (youth, not too many partners, nice treatment of the guy), and the guy hasn’t got many options at the time. Likewise, I think holding out until marriage is useless if you have little value beyond sex, and the guy has options.

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35 Responses to Virginity Loss Story

  1. dannyfrom504 says:

    i think i know who you’re talking about. lol.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      and i forgot to mention. i’ve been an incel for 72 hours. 😀

    • Emma the Emo says:

      Haha, doesn’t everybody? 🙂
      It’s pretty funny, I noticed his quote is featured in Roissy’s article from 2009. He said this:
      “And thus it comes to pass that sluts tend to be *more* picky than women with few prior partners, in a kind of twisted paradoxical way. If you are beta, don’t get your hopes up because a woman has had 80 sex partners. Someone with 5 is more likely to sleep with you, perhaps even a virgin.”
      Almost prophetic.

  2. Liz says:

    Awesome story, Emma! 🙂

  3. Pingback: Virginity Stories Week: A Call to Action | laidnyc

  4. Captain Crunk says:

    He didn’t seem to practice what he preached.

    Paid for an expensive dinner? Oh well I guess you flew out to him so that’s only fair right

  5. A♠ says:

    Emma,

    You write:

    “If you’re hopelessly sexless, you might as well say what you think on the internet. Don’t be PC. Don’t listen to fucktards who essentially say “You’ll never get laid unless you become a feminist and say all the nice things”. Say outrageous stuff. Someone out of the 1000s of women who read it might bite.”

    I’ve been blogging for almost 10 years.

    In that time, I have had nearly that same number of women read my work and fall in love with me because of it.

    Some may argue that is a terrrible ratio, but I point out:

    I, an unpopular/unknown blogger, have done better than most men do on dating sites.

    It seems both your experiences and mine strongly support what I wrote here:

    http://80proofoinomancy.wordpress.com/2013/07/10/i-can-hardly-hear-you-say-what-should-i-do-well-you-choose/

    • Emma the Emo says:

      Interesting. I liked your version of “just be yourself”. It kind of makes me think of The Fountainhead. Being yourself in the sense you are suggesting, is much harder than “being yourself” the way “blue pill” people use it.
      And you’re right, “who you are” is partially a products of everything you’ve learned from TV and other people. Actually, that’s a lot to think about. I’ll get back to that.

  6. Valentin says:

    OK first on the whole “fuck a loser” shtick you occasionally propose: it is your prerogative naturally but I would really advise both you and most girls to stay from that. Getting with sigmas and betas that have left the game in all sexual contexts (i.e. casual fwb sex and short/long term relationships) would be far more productive and beneficial both from a personal and societal socio-sexual context.
    And it’s straight-forward too: learn to read guys personalities and intentions so you can select above mentioned types. Get to know a few and the one you feel like fucking: do it. No holding out or playing hard to get, just fucking fuck. Yes other girls reading this: it’s that easy for a girl so stop rationalising your need for attention-whoring and getting beta-orbiters.

    Now to the virgin part. In the past it was no problem, heck for neither of the sexes. But today the dating culture has become so adverserial and combative that virginity signals something negative underlying. For a male it means you’re either a boring average Joe beta or an entitled omega asshole: entitlement meaning of course not wanting to be dicked around for attention. For females it signals friend-zoner or frigid prude.
    Now relating to todays overly adversial dating scene it drives up the stakes in terms of losing out, which then inevitable leads to *more* losing out: a guy that isn’t getting laid is less likely *to* get laid. This breeds a demanding and combative attitude that is fueled in many parts by resentment and bitterness. It’s basically females recent pre-selectiveness run amok that is coming back to bite them in the ass.

    So for any girl reading this I can just repeat my previous advice: meet with sigmas and betas without playing any games. If you like one: show it and fuck. If not: tell him it’s not working out and he needs to stop wasting his romantic attention and affection on you as early as possible. Here’s an extra top tip: if you “just don’t know yet” then trust me, you do and he’s not interesting to you it’s just that you’re so hooked on his positive attention.

    And to relate this advice to the virginity topic: get rid of it asap. There is nothing good or pure or even beneficial about virginity, I really think it’s just an archaic value from olden sexist patriarchical times. We need to view it from a cold and rational perspective: viriginity is nothing more than not having had the experience. Also the first time/times are usually quite shit so there’s nothing special or wonderful about it.
    At the same time don’t “just” get rid of it for its own sake. I still recommend getting rid of it with a good guy that you like and that feels the same way about you. Just because losing your virginity is nothing inherently special doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try and make it that. And how? Like I said: you have to do what most women don’t (want to) and that is to be a good character-judge so you can weed out horny boys, asshole alpha wannabes and alpha cads. I recommend googling for Susan Walsh’s “choose attraction” article since I think it adds to the advice I’m trying to give.

    PS. why don’ women want to become good character-judges you might ask? Because it bestows them with something they absolutely hate: agency. That to young women that have given in to the joys of hypergamy is like cold water to a cat. Then you’d have to admit the carousel is a bad idea and getting commitment from the hot alpha-cads while lesser betas pine for you is a losing proposition. We can’t have that now can we?

    PPS. and seriously, I don’t agree with Emmas “fuck a loser” idea at all so I sincerely advise you from not doing it.

    • Emma the Emo says:

      ” No holding out or playing hard to get, just fucking fuck”

      Here’s the problem with that: you don’t know if the guy is normal or not. You might feel he’s ok, but you better make sure you aren’t gonna be found in several bags in a dumpster, don’t you think? Frankly I would suggest this rule for any guy. Not because “all men are rapists”, but because the small chance you might be killed or hurt is STILL THERE. Also, I don’t know what modern people are thinking, but I think an STD test before having sex with a new partner is a must. All those things took time. I did NOT make him wait on purpose, I was NOT playing hard to get. If it was not for all these annoying, but necessary safety precautions, I could have went to him on the same day.
      So, no, girls, do not “just fucking fuck”. Unless you are ok risking your health like that. I would say the same to guys, but I realize they often can’t be that picky.
      Having said that, I’m not sure about the “holding out” game either, I think a man’s commitment is less about how long you made him wait, and more about what value you bring to his life.

      ” There is nothing good or pure or even beneficial about virginity, I really think it’s just an archaic value from olden sexist patriarchical times. ”
      Are you a feminist? I don’t care about virginity, but no one but a feminist talks in such terms.

      Other than that, I’m not sure I understand what you are suggesting. What do you mean here: “Getting with sigmas and betas that have left the game in all sexual contexts (i.e. casual fwb sex and short/long term relationships) would be far more productive and beneficial both from a personal and societal socio-sexual context.”?

      • Liz says:

        “Having said that, I’m not sure about the “holding out” game either, I think a man’s commitment is less about how long you made him wait, and more about what value you bring to his life.”

        I’d add it isn’t about whether or not you made HIM wait, specifically…but it’s a rare guy who couldn’t care less about the number of men a woman has been with. Unless you want to be on a continuous pump and dump basis for life (until you become a lonely cat rancher), “just fucking fuck” is a pretty bad strategy longterm.

      • emmatheemo says:

        True, but you won’t get the chance to achieve a big number of sexual partners, if the first ones like you enough to keep you 🙂 However, it might be hard to achieve if you are doing it with men who have many others just like you, you have little to offer, or the men are not interested in anything long term at all.

      • Eric says:

        Liz:
        “It’s a rare guy who couldn’t care less about the number of men a women has been with.”

        Speaking for myself, I was always kind of ambivalent about that one. The problem is, a girl could tell you she’s only been with a few men—how’s a man going to know whether that’s the truth or not? I would be a lot more concerned that she wasn’t with other men at the same time she was with me. (But that’s also something you can never be sure of).

    • Gilgamesh says:

      “We need to view it from a cold and rational perspective: viriginity is nothing more than not having had the experience. Also the first time/times are usually quite shit so there’s nothing special or wonderful about it.”

      I disagree. Virginity means the woman you put your life on hold for didn’t spread her legs for free when she was younger and hotter. It means you, the husband, were given the best deal, not the basketball team in high school. And don’t knock patriarchy, men will always put more into the system than women because they are the only ones who can, so it is completely reasonable that they should have more authority. I’d trade women’s suffrage for compulsory military service any day.

  7. Savrola says:

    I’d like to invite you to do an interview on a radio show I’m creating.

    Don’t see your contact details, so if you’re interested please email me.

    Thanks.

  8. dannyfrom504 says:

    Emma-

    you totally fed-ex’d the p***y. lol. that’s ok, i’ve been fed-ex penis. lets cuddle in shmae together.

  9. Pingback: Fed-Ex P (FEP) | dannyfrom504

  10. RojoC says:

    I’m here from Danny’s blog…

    On the one hand this seems interesting from a sexless person’s perspective. (I’m still there by choice; nothing bad and I don’t lose sleep over it). Anyway, on the one hand it seems cool that the sexless guy got to do it with who seems to be a cute and interesting redhead. (Sue me, I’m a fan of the red). Glad that point of his life turned out for the better, however…

    …on the other hand, I’m thinking that the catch was that he had to go through all of this mental anguish and pain, etc–which is some shit that’s terrible. When one is in those moods, it just really stinks, you know?

    I’m sure you’ve heard of a guy named Jack Donovan (whose blog and writings often overlap and relate to the manosphere as a whole.) This post tonight reminded me of one he made a long time ago last year where he drew a connection between sexless males and violence. I think his post specifically had to do with youths in the middle east and radical Islam and the promise of virgins after martyrdom. It’s just interesting that I see this link pop up somewhere else and under different circumstances.

    • emmatheemo says:

      Yes, he had to go through mental anguish that lasted years between each ONS. But he’s happy now and doesn’t seem permanently negatively affected by those years.
      I have heard about the virgins and martyrdom thing. A lot of spree shooters also seem to be lonely sexless men (although that’s not the only reason why anyone would become a spree killer).

    • Gilgamesh says:

      A lot of them actually do have families. They are poor, and often illiterate (so they can’t actually read the koran) and the clerics promise to take care of their families after they die (and sometimes that blowing themselves up will wash away all their sins.)

  11. Nice and honest story or better to say confession…

  12. Pingback: The One That Got Away | Hipster Racist

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