The Pedophile Experience

As strange as it is, nowadays you can admit to having been raped or molested, and experience an increase in social status. If you do it very publically, you’ll be called brave, strong, and maybe even a hero. I mean no disrespect to those who had to endure real pain, and don’t make light of their problems. However, victimhood definitely sells, and stating the obvious is not evil. Sometimes fake victimhood works, too (as long as you don’t get caught).

Perhaps it’s even better when your story is halfway true, but you add more to it, for effect. Then it’s harder to be caught.

Just because, I decided to share my own stranger danger, molestation & almost rape stories. But I want you to remember one thing while reading them: they are absolutely true and they caused me no lasting damage whatsoever.

7 years old: The groping guy in our apartment complex

When I was about 7 years old, I was returning home from school. I was alone. I was walking up the stairs, and saw a young guy (late teens or 20s) staring at me. I passed him and right as I turned my back to him, he just grabbed my ass. I ran up the stairs. He only quit his groping and disappeared when I rang the doorbell. At the time, I didn’t understand his motivation, and thought he was trying to put something in my pants. Maybe a spider. It was pretty nasty and unpleasant. I didn’t tell my parents about this, and eventually stopped thinking about it.

5 years old: The very scary environmentalist

When I was 5, I played outside. I was behind my house. I saw a small passport photo on the ground, picked it up, and threw it into the basement window hole. After a few minutes I was going somewhere else, but a man suddenly grabbed my arm. He was tall, kinda fat and asian. He was very angry with me. I was terrified. I thought this was the dangerous stranger my parents told me about. The one who kills and hurts kids. The one you shouldn’t accept candy from. I was pretty sure I was doomed. But he lead me to the basement window hole, and started ranting about the fact that I threw two tiny pieces of paper in there. He demanded I crawl in there and pick it up. It was too deep for me though. Suddenly, about 3 guys appeared out on nowhere and defended me. One of them even got into the hole and got the paper out. I ran away before I could thank them, but wish I could have.

7 years old: The boys who kept ripping my clothes off

One summer, I went to a summer camp. One time, the kids planned to have a party in the middle of the night, instead of sleeping. That night, all the kids woke up and kept running around the dorm, causing chaos and “partying”. I was just trying to sleep through it, but the other kids turned the light on. The adults had no idea this was happening for quite a while. As I was trying to sleep, two specific boys kept harassing me. They would grab me and try to rip my underwear off, because they wanted to see a girl’s pussy. I fought them and mostly succeeded. They never got my underwear completely off. It was incredibly annoying and I just wished everyone would calm down and sleep. Eventually, the adults noticed what was going on, and forced everyone to go back to sleep.



This entry was posted in Personal emo stuff, Politics and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to The Pedophile Experience

  1. Clarence says:

    Minor as they were, it still took guts to share them.
    Clearly the butt-grabber was the real danger and I HOPE that is the worst thing he ever did to any child. You might have ‘dodged a bullet’ there.
    Expect some people to call you ‘damaged’ and assert your political beliefs and personal dating preferences are all because of the ” tremendous abuse” you suffered.
    This will of course all be used as an excuse to try to marginalize any thing you say.

    But people that know or have been following you won’t fall for it!

    • emmatheemo says:

      Yeah, while writing it, I did wonder if that guy would have done something worse if I didn’t ran up to my door. In general it seems rather dangerous to kill or rape someone in an apartment corridor, but a woman was killed in the neighborhood house in exactly that kind of place. In general, Russia has a lot of murder statistics, even though I never felt all that unsafe when I lived there.

    • emmatheemo says:

      And lol, yes, a feminist sharing molestation stories is brave, an antifeminist doing the same is damaged. Haven’t seen anything similar before 😉

    • tteclod says:

      “…it took guts to share them.”

      Really? Honesty and honor are required to reveal one committed a crime. Admitting victimization: not so much. If you seek to impress, admit guilt for past wrongs, else you’re claiming universal innocence.

  2. Liz says:

    I don’t necessarily think it takes much courage to share these types of experiences (or to admit committing a crime really…why would that take more integrity and honesty or courage? To each his own).
    I’ve had a couple. The first was in second grade. A boy wouldn’t leave me alone. Every time he saw me and he was in any position to grab, he would push me down on the ground and try to kiss me on the mouth. I told the teacher, but she didn’t care. She even sat me next to him (she hated me). He proceeded to stab me in the leg with his leg pencil, drawing blood. I screamed, she told me to shut up and we both had to go to the principal’s office. I was really scared to walk alone in the hall with him on the way to the office, but had no choice. Of course, he ran me down while I cried for help, threw me against a brick wall and held me to the throat placing his mouth no mine. The teachers came out and told me to shut up, I was disrupting their class. Anyway, that kid ended up dying in a car accident a few weeks later. I thought I was a witch with magical power for a while since I’d wished it, and I definitely didn’t feel badly that he died.

    I won’t share the second (and I never have online). No one hates the current overused “rape culture” meme more than I do. The vast majority of people who claim to be victims are not victims. I’ve seen so many fake cases through the years, and was even subpoenaed to serve as a witness on behalf of the defense once (the accuser was an acquaintance, I didn’t even know the defendant….I only knew she was lying because she told me, and others).
    I don’t know if you’ve read this article. The author (a female) has done a series on this issue:

    • Liz says:

      Er..not ‘leg pencil’, lead pencil above.

    • Liz says:

      Just to add, real rape empowerment lies with the feminist ‘rape culture’ cultural meme agenda executers (feminists). Particularly in the age of social media. Backing all rape claims without evidence and removing presumption of innocence and eliminating proof of mens rea for the accused in the name of ‘victim’ empowerment. Dragging lives and reputations through the mud again, and again, and again baselessly. Until fewer and fewer people start believing the claims. They are the rape enablers.

      Remember the high profile Tawana Brawley case. Imagine if after the heat settled on that one there was another a few months later (virtually the same circumstances)….probably wouldn’t get the same level of attention. I’d say fifty percent at most, and people would be far more skeptical. Suppose that one was fraudulent, too. Then imagine a third one was real. By that time, people would be so punchdrunk from false reports and hostility, the incident would garner .001 percent of concern the first Brawley case did.

      • emmatheemo says:

        This is a good point. It’s a bit sad “think of the women” has to be used as an argument to try to defend men from false accusations, but it’s true. I sometimes wonder if both can be true at the same time – that a large chunk of accusations are false, and that most real victims don’t come forward. They don’t contradict each other.

      • Liz says:

        ” that a large chunk of accusations are false, and that most real victims don’t come forward. They don’t contradict each other.”

        Agreed. That’s what I suspect. I also suspect that a great deal of the ‘rape culture’ hysteria is a feminine fantasy (the extremely unattractive are particularly prone to those illusions, and they are dangerous when inebriated).

        We had a case at the base here recently, where a service woman became so intoxicated she couldn’t walk straight, and a pilot walked her through the parking lot to her room (then went to his, this was recorded on video tape at the hotel, and the computer card-key showed he used the key within three minutes after she used hers…he was a few doors down). She locked herself in her room, and passed out. Then woke up and called 911. My husband received a phone call in the middle of the night…this would have been a drunken incident but she claimed she thought she was drugged, and simultaneously refused to take the drug test. Turns out she was on psych meds that shouldn’t be mixed with alcohol. Her alcohol level was over three times the legal limit to drive. Fast forward a few days and she decides she was probably sexually assaulted. She started to keep a dream log and “could remember” this pilot pumping her in all sorts of ways. Investigation lasted months….obviously the exonerating evidence was right there in the hotel records, plus there was no evidence he as much as touched her shoulder. She was exempted from working for several months, paid, while the investigation was underway and she kept her little dream journal. When she returned to work she launched a complaint that it was a ‘hostile work environment’ and this automatically gave her special privilege to sit on her backside and do nothing at taxpayer expense. Investigation turned up nothing, but the SARC (base rape advocate) insisted this was inconclusive and the sexual assault might have occured. The woman became so destructive to the work environment (the women who worked with her hated her most of all…which is typical of these psycho tyeps in my experience) they simply had someone replace her and she got a year’s worth of paid “vacation” with benefits. She could have milked this forever, she was untouchable after making a sexual assault complaint. SHe eventually left, but demanded a promotion to do so (I’m serious, the conversation with the commander was essentially ‘I’ll leave if you promote me’). WHen she left, she made and IG complaint that the commander discriminated against her and created a hostile work environment because she made a sexual assault complaint.

        And the guy she accused without any evidence? The guy who was nice enough to walk her to her room because she got herself drunk as a skunk? The accuser’s husband was a psycho too and started stalking and threatening their family. They had to buy a big dog, and eventually the family left the state and the guy took a yearlong remote to the middle east.

        Note to men….if you see a woman lying in the gutter choking on her own vomit because she is inebriated, don’t go anywhere near her. If she ‘comes to’ and sees your face, she might fantasize that you are her rapist…in fact, it might be her only “recollection” from that drunken incident. Call the police, or paramedics but don’t go near her.

      • emmatheemo says:

        “Note to men….if you see a woman lying in the gutter choking on her own vomit because she is inebriated, don’t go anywhere near her. If she ‘comes to’ and sees your face, she might fantasize that you are her rapist…in fact, it might be her only “recollection” from that drunken incident.”

        You know, I suspected this could happen, but haven’t seen a good illustration of it so far. If that’s how it can happen, it is indeed a good reason not to come near incoherently drunk women at all.

    • emmatheemo says:

      I think both admiting victimization and crimes can be brave, or a piece of cake. It depends on the consequences of admitting. If the consequences can be predicted to be positive, it’s hardly brave 😉 But if they are negative, then it might be brave to admit something (like if you think “It’s embarassing, but it’s the right thing to do”).

      Thanks for sharing the story. I guess some boys really are disgusting very early on (and girls too, but in a different way). I heard it’s usually because of stupid parenting though. And you mention it was the teachers who made things worse. I can also add stories to that topic – some teachers are inexplicably bullies themselves.

      • Eric says:

        “Some teachers are inexplicably bullies themselves.”
        This is especially true in American schools. And what’s even worse, the public schools here scream the loudest about ‘anti-bullying’ when their own teachers and administrators carry out most of it.

    • Liz says:

      Just one more thing….Sorry to turn your topic into the Liz Rant-o-thon, Emma, but this issue really strikes a chord with me. Because the military has been a staging ground for social change for the last two decades, and feminists have the most direct power there (see campus rape tribunals, these banana republic style events are reflective of what the military court martial process has become regarding all things sexual assault related).

      The most prominent recent case was the Lt Colonel Wilkerson trial, both the reaction of Congress and the White House, a blatant violation of presumption of innocence. THe following facts are within the volumous transcripts released by the FOIA (freedom of information act).

      General Franklin essentially had to resign over it, and elected to give up a star to do so. I don’t know Wilkerson, but am one degree of separation away from most of the actors there. I can see that incident could have happened to us very easily back at Aviano…having an overnight inebriate crashing at the house was not unusual back then, those post-activity impromptu parties (also something called “roof stomps” where people just show up at your house at night and expect entertainment, it’s simply part of the culture…and a gracious host/hostess is expected).

      There was no hard evidence whatsoever beyond the testimony of the inebriant. She was a contracted medical provider (physician’s assistant) who showed up at work the next day and took a drug test (she had drank herself so silly she thought she might have been drugged, test came out negative)…but no testing to determine if she the act she later accused Wilkerson of was performed. Odd in particular for a person who performs such tests as part of her job description.

      The wife said she was up in the middle of the night, loudly walking around and talking on the phone. The wife got up around midnight to make this woman tea. This was verified by phone records, and also by the friend of the accuser (the inebriant said, “the wife is here making me tea” at the time) at approximately and hour and a half or so before Wilkerson supposedly went down the steps to violate her with a finger reaching into her still belted pants (that is the charge).

      The inebriant didn’t remember this conversation with her friend. SHe didn’t remember talking over tea with the wife in the middle of the night. THe wife was concerned that she was making too much noise because they had children sleeping over (the children of a recently deceased aviator, prone to nightmares, she was obviously concerned). Eventually, the wife kicked her out of the house. She couldn’t find her shoes (they turned up in the room of the sleeping children, apparently the inebriant was in their room kicking her shoes off). She awaited a friend to pick her up after the fact while sharing a beer and talking with a bunch of strange men in the park in Roverado.

      It’s truly insane what is happening. There was a recent case involving Naval academy students. The woman could not remember what happened, however she did remember having sex once that night with someone and once again (with someone else) the next morning. She read something on social media that a friend said and thought…huh, I don’t remember anything happening with those two guys…I might have been raped! (just want to file charges and see, hee hee…). The names and faces of the accused went public immediately (we don’t know the name of the accuser obviously) and they were kicked out. I don’t know if that case has been settled, but this woman is going to be an officer in charge of actually troops for crickey’s sake! How can anyone look up to and take orders from a person like that? Her conduct is beyond question, no matter how unbecoming, unprofessional, or disgraceful…as long as sex was involved.

  3. Shee says:

    Being called brave over something that you did not have control over is pretty common.

    Got cancer? You’re brave!
    Grew up in a rough neighborhood? You’re brave!
    Got bullied because of your skin color? You’re brave!
    Got kidnapped and returned home? You’re brave!

    I was almost raped once. Not when I was a child though.

    At 19 I was experimenting with alcohol for the first time. I was with a friend and her boyfriend. It was just the three of us at his apartment. I passed out on the couch and they went to bed. A friend of the boyfriend who I never met came by randomly and found me. He got on top of me and tried to kiss me. He was drunk too. I resisted and talked him out of doing anything. He left. It was pretty scary because I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be in the apartment.

    Young women are naive and need to learn that some men will take advantage of them when given the opportunity. Majority of the time when I share my story I always have at least one male criticize me. It’s frustrating that I have to defend myself and tell them that yes I was stupid and I wasn’t looking for validation. I just want other women to learn from my mistake. I do think it’s courageous of me to tell it because I know that some who hear it will think lower of me.

    • Liz says:

      I don’t know why anyone would fault you for offering cautionary advice through example, IOW, “here’s what happened to me, don’t let it happen to you”. I think that’s helpful.
      I’ve had many discussions with feminists who think that any sort of prudent advise is the equivalent of rape excusing/empowerment.

      • Shee says:

        It usually starts off with the question “Well why would you put yourself in that position?” in a condescending manner and then lecturing me on how dumb it was. To them it’s common sense. They are men. They know how each other may act. But as a woman I had a hard time understanding why any man would act that way.

    • emmatheemo says:

      Thanks for sharing. It’s pretty interesting how we accept that getting drunk outside our homes is normal (like really drunk, not just tipsy). We don’t get high on mescaline or heroin outside our home, but being drunk to the point of incoherence is okay. I think it’s just a cultural norm, but logically it makes as little sense as getting high non-privately.

      As for your story, it’s hard to tell for me how much was stupidity and how much was just bad luck. I’d get drunk in my granma’s house or my boyfriend’s house (lol, if they’d allowed it), but not the house of my not-very-close friend. Either way, I know stupidity happens. Done it myself a few times. Perhaps guys who immediately criticise you expect that you haven’t learned anything, and jump at the opportunity to correct your impressions. Or do you think it’s something else?

  4. Groped says:

    I was 15 catching the bus with a friend in a particularly bad neighborhood I shouldn’t have been in. I was wearing white jeans and a baggy sweater and noticed a few onlookers nearby whom I hadn’t really given a second thought.

    The bus arrived and as I was getting on, one of these onlookers I hadn’t been paying any attention to reached his hand all the way up into my vagina and buttocks and groped me as forcefully as he could. It happened so quickly and before it even registered in my brain, the doors were drawn shut and we were pulling away. First a feeling of shock overcame me and as it began to wane, I was stricken and horrified. That was 20 years ago. To this day, I still feel sickened at the thought of it. I think I may carry this feeling to my grave.

    If I had a gun, I would have shot him. If he was standing in front of me today, I’d shoot him dead. Some part of me was destroyed that day, forever. He took something from me that I can never take back.

  5. Very many people, both men and women, have similar recollections of such abuse. How we interpret them — the importance and impact we assign them later in life — is highly variable.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s