Where to find a good incel guy to date?

Recently I got this comment under my post “Good Reasons to Fuck and Omega or a Lesser Beta Male”:

“I know I’m obviously a little late in reading/commenting on this, but I’m wondering if you know a good place to meet incel guys? I’m not looking for the fwb thing, but feel that a man that is incel would more than likely make a better partner.”

I agree dating an incel can have some advantages, but want to note that like in any other group, there are good and bad men among the incels. I didn’t have a great answer to her question, and want to ask my readers. Where to find a good guy who will be a good partner, but also has no luck with women?

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37 Responses to Where to find a good incel guy to date?

  1. Jesslyn Nicole says:

    Thanks so much, Emma!!!

    • P Coyne says:

      I’m a good incel guy from the UK. It would be good if you could let any women know that I am interested. Great blog by the way.

  2. Obviously, interested women will want an incel that isn’t completely disgusted by women. Or maybe fall in love by convincing him the opposite. 🙂

  3. tteclod says:

    Reblogged this on A Life Un-Lived and commented:
    A Message from the Patriarchy: Where to Find Involuntarily Celibate (Incel) Guys

    Emma the Emo posted a commenter’s question. It deserves an answer.

    So, you a slut, you’ve rode the cock carusel till your crotch is sore, and you’re ready to get the fuck off the racing stallions and onto workhorse. Where do you find a workhorse? Hint: it’s in the name.

    Before we begin, know that there are two types of incel guys: loons and laborers.

    You can generally spot the loons by certain characteristics. Among these are 1) horrifying hygiene, 2) dirty living spaces, 3) few friends.

    Sadly, you cannot judge looniness by the usual feminist guidelines: anti-social behavior, physicial condition, politically-correct ethos. Such things usually portent a crazy person, contrary to Cathedral-approved opinion. Do not trust an apparently incel guy with good physical condition who says the right things and appears socially gregarious. He is either certifiably crazy or a pip-up artist and probably a recovering incel, but not what you’re seeking, all the same.

    So, with some broad no-go criteria established, here’s a breif list of where you find incels.

    -Any RPG gaming convention or gaming store
    -Comic book stores
    -Japanese anime conventions
    -Video game stores or the video game section of local big box retailer
    -A surprising number of incels hunt and fish and collect firearms; consider a sporting goods store that sells firearms.
    -Fast food and grocery stores – these guys gotta eat and nobody cooks for them

    So, how do you pick-up an incel?

    First, be interested in the guy. It helps tremendously if you’re not faking your interest. Next, laugh, especially if he tells a joke. Giggling is always good. Also, touch him. Get him to touch you. Follow him around like a puppy – don’t lead him. Guys who are still open to female companionship will welcome the attention and eventually become accustomed to your presence.

    If you get rejected, move on. Disinterest in a man can’t be combatted. Similarly, bail on the guy if you lose interest, the sooner the better. Bailing early is a kindness.

  4. caprizchka says:

    My vote goes to the back alley of a dive bar–the “smoking section”.

    • emmatheemo says:

      Oh, why is that? 🙂 Never would have thought of that.

      • caprizchka says:

        Antismoking hysterics overlook a lot of fine men. And that’s what it is, in my opinion “hysteria”. Back in WW II (when men were men) *everyone* smoked. Longest lifespan of a generation.

      • Eric says:

        A lot of women reflexively say that smoking is a ‘deal-breaker’ regardless of the character of the man involved. They don’t have any problem with drug addicts, abusive men, or lazy deadbeats though.

  5. emmatheemo says:

    Seems I got 2 more responses to this. I guess they are negative to the post in some way, but still interesting:
    http://gaikokumaniakku.wordpress.com/2014/08/05/how-to-date-an-incel/
    http://vultureofcritique.wordpress.com/2014/08/05/you-want-a-good-boyfriend-what-the-heck-does-good-even-mean/
    I think they imply that a woman who says she wants an incel, might be in it for attention, validation, and exploitation of the guy’s weaknesses, like low power in a relationship. I think this could happen, so I understand the suspicion. However, it’s still good to ask the question I asked, for those women who are serious about looking for an incel, having a LTR with him and treating him well.

    • Eric says:

      I can’t help but wonder about it, either. When did women start worrying about the well-being of men, or treating them well?

      • emmatheemo says:

        Sure, one shouldn’t blindly jump at the first woman who says she likes incels or is good, but I assume the individual men have enough smarts for that. Or I hope so… I think vetting someone before you get too close to them is important.

      • James says:

        Why shouldn’t women treat men with kindness and respect we treat you gently and nicely why shouldn’t you treat everyone with respect with no mind payed to their gender or lack thereof.

    • Eric says:

      I read the two links: ‘interesting’ might be a bit of a stretch. Both these guys sound like they hate sex on general principles; so it isn’t surprising that they wouldn’t want to see INCELs ‘corrupted’.

      My point was that women in feminist cultures don’t have an especially good track record of treating men well; or for that matter, pursuing good men; I wondered why an INCEL would have any especial appeal for them..

      • Jerinos says:

        Women in general obviously aren’t interested in INCELs but this is an individual women, such as Emma who had a fantasy about being with an INCEL and this women could be in a similar situation.

        Anyway, to find INCELs, the easiest way would be to log into a dating site. Women become inundated with messages on those sites and sometimes don’t realize that men receive nowhere near as many messages. They certainly don’t realize that women receive frequently thousands of times as many messages. To find an INCEL on that site would be fairly simple, by looking for guys that have bad/honest profiles and badly photographed pictures.

      • Eric says:

        Easier still on a dating site, just look for guys who are employed, look clean and intelligent and have no criminal records. Those will be the INCELs. The ones who look like werewolves and have characters to match get inundated with female fan mail.

  6. Pingback: I think they imply that a woman who says she wants an incel, might be in it for attention, validation, and exploitation of the guy’s weaknesses, like low power in a relationship. | gaikokumaniakku

  7. If a girl wants to meet a decent, shy guy, she just has to change her way of looking at men: get rid of the filter that filters those guys out. She doesn’t need to go anywhere. Guys like that are all over the place, they just tend to be ignored. The hard part is connecting, since he will be a nerdy guy from beyond Mars. She’ll probably have to approach and say “hi”, because he won’t be able to read her signals or figure out how to approach her. Hmm….I never thought of this problem from the other side of the fence 🙂

  8. Pingback: How to get a boyfriend with delicious cake | gaikokumaniakku

  9. NAIALT says:

    I agree with what most people have said prolly best place to meet incel guys is online/grocery store/nerd events (tho all incels are’nt nerds obviously, and they are not angry women hateing MRAs either for the most part I don’t think, at least I’m not). Would like also like to ad the library as a good place. Get the feeling incel guys are all over the place, maybe the better question to ask is where can you find women who like intoverted/shy/sensitive guys and women with an omega fetish seems like they are more rare than your run of the mill incel.

  10. Teja says:

    I am a 24 year old incel because of lack of opportunities to meet women and get intimate. being sexless is a kind of torture. so if you approach an incel most probably he will fall for you. but just tell the person who asked you this question not to play with him and let him down. it’s not just about sex it’s a craving for a beautiful relationship too.

  11. Jesslyn, please let me know if/when you come back. I have some questions/suggestions.

  12. Something that might be worth considering when forming a relationship with a till-now celibate guy is whether he’s into you out of desperation or whether you seem too good to be true. It’ll probably be one or the other. In the first case, you may be in for some shocks somewhere down the line, though you can bring about healing if the bond’s strong. The second case may sound nicer, but without treading carefully you can all-too-easily do no more than lasting damage.

    Because we all go into relationships with insecurities and assumptions, getting to know your partner’s reasoning may be tricky. You might start by reminding him that it’s important to communicate about feelings of alienation, frustration, being too nerdy, or whatever the case may be.

    I think that if you’re thoughtful you could have a great time introducing a celibate guy into the world of sexuality. For those of you taking on this kind of endeavor, I wish you fulfillment, interesting learnings, and lots of love.
    ~ Thanks Always Returns

  13. Rob says:

    I found this randomly so I guess you can take what I say with a grain of salt.

    I have been incel for 5 or so years now (and I guess longer before that time). My main issue all my life is pretty much not being a forward guy. IMHO for many incels it seems most issues revolve around a lack of self confidence, rejection, and fear.

    A few things I noticed while reading other Incels testimonies whether male or female is a distinct blame game with the other sex. For example I have seen many incels (including myself at times in my life) blame the opposite gender (or same depending) for not noticing them, abusing them (emotionally in general), or simply being friend zoned in any relationship. I think this type of thinking basically limits what a relationship could amount with many incels (if you are solely seeking htem out for being incel) .

    Imagine if you will sitting in the incel’s position. From point one your basically skipping the idea that you are simply lonely or unloved. Incel (ie involuntary celibacy) speaks first and foremost to sex. The incel is defining him or herself as someone who is missing first and most of all sex. Imho this would mean that as the person pursuing the incel you maybe looking for a relationship but the incel would likely be looking for a lay first. What happens when you give up the goods? It could blossom into the relationship both of you have wished for your entire life or the counter could reset (for the incel) and the fix put in for the moment. Now you the person chasing the incel might end up reducing yourself as the sole means of sex for the incel and nothing more.

    A scenario like this might not be all that bad. You as the chaser have just elevated yourself to cherished sex object and likely for a while would be worth bending over backward for. After that ends though it could just disintegrate or you could end up in a actual relationship started around a shaky premise,”I want you for sex.” and ,”I want you for your dysfunction” (sounds super sexy). Kind of messed up don’t you think?

    The other thing is I am not sure an incel partner would treat you any better than someone who say had sex in the last 3 months . I have read many incel post where the opposite sex gets bashed for not being available, I doubt anybody would really want to deal with that type of hate. The depression loneliness, social anxiety that usually accompanies involuntary celibacy can be a lot to deal with.

    Now despite all this I still hope daily to meet the right one but I ask myself the question all the time,”If someone offered you sex would you take it without caring for them?”. Honestly, sometimes the answer is,”Yes”, and sometimes it is, “No”. What I would prefer (me personally) is to meet the right person who connects with me at the emotional level. While sex alone would be nice just like the few random hook ups in my younger days it would leave me empty afterward,

    Imho why not just try to find a nice guy from a pool you don’t usually pick from. Not everyone has a cloud over their head that says,”Hey look at me I’m incel”. Most of us you likely would not know the situation with a simple glance. I think reaching out to an incel person should consist of opening doors rather than giving it up immediately. Try to be friends and make sure they know the door for a relationship is open including sex. This makes sure that there is no guarantee for it but you are considering them as a potential partner. While some may try to actually use their non-existent skills to rush into your panties most I imagine would see this as a true opportunity. The fact that the other person might actually consider you and is looking for the real thing is valuable in my opinion.

    Well these are just my thoughts. Even as an incel I try my best to put the depression, loneliness, etc. aside. I do my best to accept the situation. We do not want another person giving up on life over sex. Why not shower them with love and hope for the same in return.

    That is all i got take it or leave it. Have a blessed on all.

  14. Just wanted to clear a few things up:

    I asked the question originally, not because I’ve “ridden the cock carousel” , actually the opposite.

    I’m not really looking for an Incel just to slake his thirst for sex. More so to meet someone else who hasn’t had multitudes of sexual partners.

    I don’t live in a big city, not even close. So a lot of the suggestions don’t really work for me.

    Ultimately, this is very important to me. Of course I would love to meet someone who values the same things I do, but I have no idea if it’s even possible. Thanks for the suggestions, but zero luck so far!

  15. Mikey says:

    Well ladies in my case…it’s simply too late now. I have extremely poor health, can’t get an erection to save my life, and am simply not interested in female BS any longer. Yes I am lonely, but that has been mitigated somewhat by having two new beautiful little kittens.

  16. Master Yoda says:

    I am a life long incel male of 46 years, and no, I am not a misogynist or MRA, and nor do I smell (I shower and brush my teeth religiously). With me, my butt ugly looks and perceived race wrote me off in the dating game, but that’s life .

    And before anyone says that women don’t care about looks, THEY DO, and if you don’t pass the looks test with a woman, IT’S GAME OVER, LIGHTS OUT.

  17. Sam says:

    Book stores and libraries.

  18. caamib says:

    Jesslyn Nicole is rape loving scum who was impregnated and got birth to a child of a rapist.

  19. Smitten says:

    All the incels want skinny white girls, and I’m the complete opposite of that.

    I hate it when guys bitch about not finding a woman when in reality, they are bitching because they don’t have Hayden Pennittere or Jennifer Lawrence’s doppelganger swooning for them.

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