“For feminists, reality itself is oppressive”

After I read this article (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2803687/PIERS-MORGAN-Damned-botoxes-damned-doesn-t-Don-t-torment-Renee-Zellweger-blame-misogynist-tyranny-forces-natural-beauty-turn-fake-featured-blonde.html ), I remembered something Yohami once told me: “For feminists, reality itself is oppressive”. I would say it’s true, but men end up being blamed, instead of reality. I would also say it’s not just feminists who do that, but anyone who believes the world can be made totally fair, if people were just taught not to judge or discriminate. Then, nobody would ever be homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic; men would date older women and we’d have fat leading ladies in Hollywood blockbusters.

Reality is, indeed, oppressive and tyrannical. Sometimes I wish I could fly – that would be great. And sometimes I wish I could hypnotize people into just giving me whatever I want – that’d be fun, although unethical and I’d probably feel guilty and like a phony. Having said that, the human race is often good at beating reality and freeing its members from the oppression of diseases, consequences of sex, and other discomforts. There is nothing wrong with wanting to free people or yourself from constraints of nature. But it’s different when you blame people, and make unreasonable demands of people in order to make your life better. If it’s hard to find a husband after 50, you can blame men and shame them for being afraid of strong, independent women, and create a campaign to change the world. If it’s hard to find a job with tattoos all over you, you can blame employers for being judgmental. You can create a campaign to ban words you don’t like. In general, you ask the government to do something.

We all have moments of anger against the world and other people for not liking us or giving us a break in life. I have understanding for that. However, it’s not healthy to think like that for too long, and wallow in self-pity. Eventually, you have to say “Ok, I was not as lucky as I wished, but I’m wiser now, and will do my best at getting a better life”. It would be more productive than trying to change human nature, which is not happening any time soon. We’re made to categorize and simplify information around us. People have sexual and romantic preferences. Employers have knowledge over who fits their company the best, and who will negatively affect their business. And people in general can be negative, judge us unfairly and are masters of their own headspace, despite what some people might wish.

Why beg for charity, when you can be a success story?

I’m starting to think that this desire to control other people partially stems from lack of imagination and fear of challenges. Instead of using their creative human brains to face a problem, they want the government to fix it. Instead of feeling energized by a challenge, they must feel deflated. If it’s hard to get hired with tattoos, one could earn money online, or work where all the tattooed people aggregate. If it’s hard to find a good guy over 50, work on your looks and personality. If the workplace prefers someone taller, younger, or better looking, use your brain on finding out what the market wants, and do your best. We all have to do that, even if we sometimes wish we could have magical powers and suddenly get everything we want. And if you think about it, earning something through hard work is a lot better for personal growth and self-respect. You feel bigger when you overcome adversity and achieve your goals, instead of having the state give them to you.

When violent thugs say: “I’m just intolerant of their intolerance”

Or perhaps it’s not about fear of challenges at all. Perhaps they just like power and control, because they used to have none in the past – perhaps it’s all about revenge. Perhaps it’s not about improving lives, but about socially competing by bringing people down, instead of rising up. That’s the feeling I get, when I hear SWJs say the mocking expression “Oh no, they are intolerant of my intolerance!” It happens in a situation where SWJs attack someone for not agreeing with them on something, and stubbornly holding onto their views about some group. Like in the case when a Christian bakery refused to create a wedding cake for a gay couple. It’s ok to be intolerant of someone’s intolerance, as long as your intolerance doesn’t involve involving cops, government and courts to punish them for their opinions. When you do this, you’re just a bully who thinks they’re oppressed. If you want to avoid being a bully, you will have to abstain from using the government or other violent means, and thus be “tolerant of their intolerance”.

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4 Responses to “For feminists, reality itself is oppressive”

  1. Eric says:

    Emma:
    Great post! In America, we refer to this as the ‘Entitlement Mentality.’ And of course, there’s no shortage of entitled Americans utterly divorced from Reality.

    “This desire to control other people stems from a lack of imagination and a fear of challenges…or maybe they simply like power and control because they had none: it’s all about revenge.”

    I think it’s a strong mixture of all of these. People with imaginations who are not risk-adverse typically don’t feel powerless—revenge, power, and control are the effect; fear and ignorance are the cause.

    • emmatheemo says:

      You know, I just talked about this with another commenter on another thread. He wondered how you can really tell if someone felt entitled to something, if they get angry/sad/upset when someone won’t love them, friend them or have sex with them. And that it just sounds like shaming language and nothing more. I’m starting to think that’s true- the real entitlement mentality is found with people who want the government to give them other people’s stuff of time. In fact, politics nowadays actively encourage people to have the entitlement mentality. There is no other way to describe it.

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  3. Liz says:

    Good writeup, Emma.
    “When violent thugs say: “I’m just intolerant of their intolerance”
    One of the deepest ironies of all…mostly because tolerance, as applied by the “PC” crowd, doesn’t actually mean tolerance but acceptance. They demand acceptance and support for their views, and when they don’t receive it they claim intolerance. Best example that comes to mind is the ‘rape culture’ meme.

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