A Warm F*ck You to the Tax Authorities

I’m done.

I created my own little company, since I couldn’t get a job for over a year, and not for the lack of trying. But now that I’ve gone through a tax course today, I’m TRULY done.

There is no point in trying to earn REAL money in Norway. If you can’t have a job, you will be a welfare recipient, getting a tiny bit of money each month and being a lowlife in everyone’s eyes. If you try to make your own company, you must immediately learn all the tax rules and accounting rules, lest you make a small mistake and pay for it dearly. That means jail, or large fines you cannot possibly pay off. Is it worth it? I don’t fucking know.

Norway is socialist. And only now do I realize who the real parasites are. And it ain’t the welfare recipients. It’s the people whose livelihood depends on all those thousands on rules that a CEO must know, in order to avoid jail or fining. When you have to pay 50% of your income in taxes, don’t blame the Muslim foreigners and their large extended families. Blame the tax careerist who gets work by making sure you are following all the little made-up rules.

If this tax course was to help us, why is it so demotivating? Actually, it’s not the first time something supposedly “helpful” was this condescending. The bank here gave all the new company owners a free book. Granted, it’s free, and I can at least be happy for that. But 1)It’s partially an ad for that particular bank and 2)it makes some rather infuriating condescending jokes. Like “Check your email account often, there might be important messages in there. And if you don’t answer them in time, you’ll get a little smack on the fingers from the authorities”. Nice abusive joke there, thanks. Yes, I know authorities love to call it a “smack on the fingers” when they jail you. To them, you’re like a fly, they can do whatever they want with you. It’s a nice little power trip and I wouldn’t be surprised if people who work for the state pick their career for that reason.

The tax course teachers made similar jokes. One guy in the classroom asked “So.. if I have a home office instead of a public office, can the tax controllers burst into my home to check that my accounting is right?” And she answered: “Nah. In that case we usually use cops ;)”. Not so subtle little power play there. There were many more. I know it’s good to have a sense of humor about the unpleasant things in life, but it’s different when the unpleasant things come from the person making the joke.

Everything seems be made in a way that will make you feel small. Don’t you dare try to become something important, you shouldn’t think you are something special. So says the Jante law. And it’s enforced by violence J Yaaay!..

Hey.. what if inability to have a job is connected to difficulties with starting your own company? I mean, I dunno, it’s almost like having employees is fucking expensive. And having a company can get fucking expensive. Of course employers don’t want to hire the wrong person. The wrong person can make some kind of harassment claim, or racism claim, or whatever else. They can take maternity leave. The total costs of having an employee are 30% higher than the wages themselves (but can get up to twice as much as the wages). Of course you can’t hire the wrong person then.

I give up my plans of ever being even a little rich. I wanted that before, but now I don’t. It’s simply not gonna happen, so I’ll save myself the trouble. I’ll use another way to win and spit in the face of the Jante Law and all the SMALL people enforcing it. I’m an artist, after all. Don’t care if this sounds Narcisstic. I’ve been modest for too long. Perhaps I need a healthy dose of Narcissism. That’s right, I’m better. If it bothers you (you know who you are),


As for people who consistently read me and post comments,


You rock. Here’s a picture of cute creatures playing for you.



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32 Responses to A Warm F*ck You to the Tax Authorities

  1. Scott Vater says:

    Gotta love that government, huh? Do what we say or you go to jail because we made up some bullshit that’ll put you there because we rule your life because we say so.

    Seem Legit™

  2. I had not realized that you live in Norway.

    There are various Asian countries that are more friendly, but Asian languages are pretty challenging. Also, the cultures are not necessarily fun. If business is more important to you than culture, Asia is definitely a place where you can go to start a business.

    • emmatheemo says:

      Well, to move I’d have to have money, and to have money, I’d have to have a successful business.. oh wait 🙂 Ah well, even if I had money, I would have to have enough to also move my mom and my boyfriend, because I can’t leave them. I think I’ll just have to deal with this, even though I’ll never have wealth.

  3. tteclod says:

    What does it matter? There’s no death penalty in Norway. What’ll they do? Fine you until you can’t pay and you go in welfare? With the “safety net” you can take ridiculous risks.

    My advice: buy some good accounting software and hire a good accountant. In the USA, I use Sage 50. I’m sure there’s equivalent stuff for Norway. My accountant gets a call about twice a year: once when I close my books for the year, and again when I file taxes.

    • emmatheemo says:

      You can go to jail. My family will be without me, which is intolerable for me to think about.

      If not jail, you might end up in debt hell for decades, like this man: http://www.nettavisen.no/nyheter/–straffen-hadde-blitt-mindre-hvis-jeg-hadde-skutt-noen/3130121.html (sorry it’s Norwegian, but it says he was having this problem for 15 years and apparently burnt out. It happened because he forgot to report that he didn’t earn anything that particular year. A mistake I wouldn’t make, but still).

      Norway’s lack of official death penalty or official life sentence are also just illusions. You don’t just go to jail for 21 years. If you are dangerous, you will be sentences to something called “forvaring”, which is translated as “custody”. That means they will look at you after 21 years and decide if you should be free or not. If not, they will lengthen it, and lengthen it, until you die. I’m not in danger of that, but someone like Breivik is likely gonna die in jail. It would have been honest if they simply called it “life in prison”, but Norway likes to have that “paradise” image, and that would ruin it.

      It’s also a lie that you “get away” with life in prison, or being declared insane. It might prove to be lifelong torture (and in case of being considered insane, your life expectancy will drop some 20 years).

      I’m thinking about an accountant, but they cost a lot. I can’t really afford it now, as I have to eat. Not to mention, I know how to do accounting, I’m just not experienced at all.

      • tteclod says:

        From the article (forgive me if my Norwegian fluency is so poor I get this wrong) the man in tax hell complains that the penalty would be less if he’d shot somebody.

        So he should shoot somebody.

        When they imprison him, which they will, he may then kill or maim guards. As long as he maintains his sanity, he may simply claim he is engaging in an insurrection against the government. He may relent when the government relents.

        Over here in the USA, Timothy McVeigh wasn’t a one-time anomaly, nor prompted by an anomaly. McVeigh was at Waco near the Branch Davidian compound, complaining that the Federal government was perpetrating another Ruby Ridge incident – the one where snipers shot dead a pregnant woman holding a baby while she held open a door for her husband and another man fleeing sniper fire. The Davidian compound burns under suspicion of federal instigation of fire, and McVeigh responds with the Oklahoma City federal building bombing.

        Likewise, Brevik is a symptom of a greater flaw in Scandinavia. The question which Brevik demands Scandinavians answer is, “Is our government and ruling class killing us? If so, how shall we respond?”

        Regarding taxes, software is key. The accountant is ONLY for review of your ledger and so you have an advocate if you need one.

        If all else fails, leave the country.

  4. bo jangles says:

    One of my brothers accounting profs, mentioned that companies need not be afraid of high tax places like Sweden. All you have to do is sell your regular product (say cigarettes), and use the profit to buy say really expensive cigarette paper from another subsidiary in a tax friendly place like Ireland, who by the way makes incredible profits one cigarette paper.

  5. Eric says:

    For a minute there, I thought you’d moved to the US. Sad to hear that Norway’s just as bad.

    It’s the same here: you bake a pie, cut into 8 slices, and the parasites leave you with one (if you’re lucky)—and then call you selfish for keeping that little. If you’re in business in America, here’s who sucks you dry (in no particular order):

    1. The Welfare State: who stuff 80% of the money into their own pockets and throw whatever crumbs are left to the welfare bums and then complain about the poverty ‘crisis’.

    2. Lawyers: who run a legalized protection racket so you have to have one constantly on retainer to keep the other lawyers off your back.

    3. The Insurance Cartels: a monumental scam that no business can avoid participating in.

    4. The Banking Cartels: legalized loan sharks, if you need credit; and people who’ll freely distribute your income to 1,2, and 3 above with or without your permission.

    5. Accounting Firms: sort of a combination of 2 and 3; needed for ‘protection’ but otherwise useless.

    6. Political Activists: elected and unelected who are continually passing new laws and regulations to obstruct whatever you’re doing.

    7. The Mass Media: for encouraging all this garbage and the Public Schools for producing people too stupid for anything other than Communism.

  6. Cecil Henry says:

    Yup: Be a parasite. Work as little as possible and take as much as possible.

    Get involved in politics==== ie using government to steal from productive people.

    Until the theft ends, this is the only way. Fed up, sympathize. But being passive is not the answer.

    Make them stop the parasitic behavior.

  7. To me it seems that the first step to making money is to save money. Managed to save £2k/year on bare minimum benefits of £8k/year whilst paying £4k for housing. That meant £2k bought me food, transport, clothes, school materials and even the odd luxury like train tickets, meals out, jewellery and art supplies. I got to £4k in savings and lost around £3k moving around a lot. Now I’m settled and almost at £5.5k non-spending-money after a few months of focusing on rebuilding my savings. This money is being fed through a loop of buying goods online and selling them online and using the money to buy more goods, gradually increasing it. It’s been four years since I returned to the UK as a penniless 17 year old, but I’m now self-employed, decidedly in the black and slowly building and investing my savings. I’m even writing a book on how to save money, because of how much I’ve done to avoid spending anything.

    You can make it. You may need to live on benefits for a few years to save money, do online work, move countries, etc, but there’s stuff out there, even if you’re a degreeless ex-welfare-child with no employment history living in a country that is hellbent on forcing you back into university.

  8. Liz says:

    Well said, Emma. And, I’m sorry it’s so bad in Norway. It’s not quite that bad here, but pretty darned. The whole tax collection system is a HUGE racket. That’s why we will never, never ever see a flat tax…regardless of which politicians claim they back it. There’s too much of a vested interest, too much money to be made through this racket (think of all the tax lawyers, accountants, corporations whose bread gets buttered this way). All they will ever do is add more regulations, and more taxes…they might offer tax breaks, but that’s added regulation, not lower regulation. The system only gets more complicated so they can employ more people to deal with it.

    Italy is probably worst of all (well…probably Spain and Greece too, those southern ‘Romantic’ countries are screwed). One of my cousins in Italy is an accountant. Every year they change the tax laws and his office is filled from top to bottom with volumes of different and changing tax laws. The only way their economy stays affloat over there (and just barely, especially after they took the Euro as currency) is through their underground economy (the economia submersa). Every single business has to operate under the table in one capacity or the other (extra hours, employees off the books, ect) in order to stay afloat. Then, they have the Guardia di Finanza financial police over there and they carry assault rifles.

    • Eric says:

      The former colonies of those countries in South America have raised that kind of underground economy to an art form. They pass complicated and impossible tax and regulatory laws for the express purpose of generating bribes to go around them. You can barely go through a week without having to slip ‘La Mordida’ to one government official or another.

      And if you’re from another country, you pay double the going rates. LOL

      In Mexico City they actually have two big malls run by the Black Market. Those guys actually made an import deal with the Chinese a few years ago to get direct shipments because it was cheaper than paying bandits to rob them (I guess ‘outsourcing’ is hitting Mexico too LOL).

      The advantage to doing business down there is that there isn’t a lot of litigation and red tape like the US, but you do have additional overheads for these kinds of things.

      • Liz says:

        That’s interesting, Eric. I didn’t know that about South America.
        A friend went to Venezuela a few months ago and he told me the hotel he stayed at didn’t accept Venezuelan currency, only US dollars.
        They charged his credit card and when the bill came in the charge came from New Jersey, or something (apparently places in the states act as a go-between).

      • emmatheemo says:

        Reminds me a bit of the time when my mom had a business in Russia, and the economy had a crisis. Your store could be robbed, and cops wouldn’t do much, and bribe helps. But then bribe helps in many other ways when it comes to cops over there.

      • Eric says:

        Most of them outsource things like credit card transactions because nobody trusts the companies inside the country to do it. When Mexico’s banks failed in the 1990s, foreign banks came into the country—but only on the condition that Mexicans weren’t allowed to run them.

        When those countries go through inflationary periods, they like American dollars because if they hold them for a week or so, the exchange value in local currency goes up.

      • Eric says:

        Russians do a lot of business in Mexico. I was told many times that the cultures are very similar in that respect. Mexican men have an attraction for Russian girls and meet them online. A lot of them told me that their girlfriends had said that things work in Russia about the same way as Mexico.

      • Eric says:

        I forgot to mention about the police: in Mexico the police make rounds to businesses about once a week a collect a ‘contribution’ in exchange for their protection. LOL Miraculously, the places that pay never get robbed.

        Banks get robbed though on a regular basis. I heard a rumor that the bank robbers in Mexico City actually have something like a union and they help the police catch people who rob banks but aren’t members so they don’t have competition.

    • emmatheemo says:

      Hmm, aren’t Greece and Italy in serious economic trouble right now? I wonder if it’s connected.

  9. slacker says:

    wow and I’ve been told that I’m paranoid for thinking that its easy for socialist governments to get out of control. I guess I’m not.

  10. liz says:

    Forgot to add…I love your drawings! 🙂

  11. infowarrior1 says:

    Minimalism all the way. Work so you can pay your means and live below your means. Make sure this government collapses.

  12. wasn’t heavy metal band Dissection from Norway?

    If I could, I would not work and just receive a check from the government, drink beer, play guitar. Yeah, in Murica, if you are a fast talker, you can do well, but it’s also possible to work really hard and wind up homeless. Also the drug laws are draconian. There are men rotting in prison for minor drug offenses. There are also serious criminals who only get a slap on the wrist because the jails are full. Real men’s rights, not the “men’s rights” from the AVfM male feminist crybabies would be to decriminalize drugs and perhaps decriminalize prostitution…

    work sucks, I don’t buy into the feminist argument that a career is empowering. It would be way better to be born into wealth…

    • emmatheemo says:

      That’s true what you say about drug laws and prostitution. They are made to prey on the weak. Or maybe they were made to attack the big strong criminals, but mainly attack the weak. Those who don’t have much power or resources. Although once in a while a politician is caught red-handed with drugs or prostitutes, and his collegues eat him alive. Then someone like that could make a strong statement that these things should be legal, but the cowards always cave and apologize.

  13. Phew. And I thought the US was bad.

    • emmatheemo says:

      Since writing this, I also learned that Norway has a special tax on owning more than a certain amount of capital. Not on income, but on simply owning it. I don’t think you have that, do you? 🙂 The Norwegian papers say it’s a strictly Norwegian “envy” tax. It causes millionaires to move out. It also screws new, developing businesses whose capital may be big, but is all currently in use as an investment into the development.

  14. bob says:

    Do I hear a Libertarian being born? 😉

    Hi Emma, long time no see – caught you from over at Spawny’s.

    • emmatheemo says:

      I was kind of libertarian for a while, actually. On a theoretical basis. Now I’m starting to get personal experiences that give me a more personal reason to be libertarian.

      Are you on Spawny’s site? 🙂

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