What sex would you want to be born as?

The title speaks for itself. If you could choose, would you choose to be born as the other sex, or as the one you are now? Ever thought about what you’d be like as the opposite sex?

I would prefer to stay female. Being male would make dating so much harder. Getting laid would take real effort. If it happens at all – I’m kind of introverted and awkward, so might easily end up one of those guys who has a Realdoll. I’m not sure I would mind being a MGTOW, collecting dolls, but I heard the male sexdrive is quite strong, and being celibate sucks. Perhaps I could try to become a famous perverted cartoonist, and perhaps get alpha from that. But nothing is stopping me from being a cartoonist now.

Being male would give me extra physical strength, but that’s all the advantage that I see. And one man’s stength is not enough to protect him from an attack from many men, so physical strength is not enough to make me want to be male. Men are also more likely to be violently attacked by men in the first place, so that offsets the advantage of being strong.

I would have a deep raspy voice though. Is that something to feel good about?


This entry was posted in Men, Personal emo stuff, Women and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

85 Responses to What sex would you want to be born as?

  1. Scott Vater says:

    A man. I am bias as I am one but I don’t see why you’d want anything else. No child birth, no periods, mood swings, money spent on useless stuff like fashion and makeup and “feminine” products. No worry about getting raped or drugged when out on the town. Less likely to be fucked with in general by people. More respect on average.

    No fucks have to be given if a female you have sex with get’s pregnant, just leave (not that I would, just saying). And then on top of it we are stronger which, while maybe not always needed, is CERTAINLY a good thing when it IS needed.

    Back pain from large breasts.

    Like I said, I’m bias, but other than the incredible orgasms women get to have over the male orgasm and being able to get sex easier or manipulate men I don’t see any real positives. And those last two are really if you’re decent looking…ugly women don’t really apply…especially the gold digger part.

    So yeah…my opinion but I hope this helps and of course I wouldn’t mind being further enlightened myself!

    • Haha, I think a lot of people would pick their own sex 🙂 It’s almost impossible to truly know what living as the other sex is like, and we’d pick what we already tried, and know well. At least, I think that way, when I pick my own sex.

      Although I would say that all that fashion and makeup stuff is optional. Childbirth also, unless you live in a country without good birth control. I’m not sure the male orgasm is weaker. I heard from men that their orgasms felt stronger once they got old enough to ejaculate. Although you’d have to change sex and feel for yourself, to get a direct answer.

      I’m pretty sure ugly women get laid easily as well. Agree with the golddigger part though.

  2. I think I rather like being a girl. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I really enjoy men, simply interacting with them, and that would all look a bit different if I were a one.

  3. Jacob says:

    An interesting post as usual.

    Neither, would be my option and in the future – neither or changing sex completely, will be an option. Transhumanism (technology to transcend the human condition) will make such things as what flaws our flesh are born with, obsolete.

    As far as why I would choose neither sex – it’s simply on the grounds that our sexual dimorphism is a rift of social and biological problems. Mostly rooted in problems with our emotional connections in order to act as parents for offspring. I do not enjoy being controlled by emotions because they make observation of the universe colored versus what it really is.

    • Liz says:

      Without emotions there is no joy or appreciation for beauty either. What’s the point in ‘seeing reality for what it is’ without the emotion to appreciate anything about it?
      Robots do that.

      • Liz says:

        Death is a sure cure for cancer.

      • Eric says:

        Both Feminists and MRAs of the ‘Game’ school don’t see any beauty or value in the opposite sex. Of course, homoeroticism underlies both philosophies.

      • Jacob says:

        Why do you think having emotions is a good thing? What makes them good/beneficial beyond that they once served our ancestors as tools to survive? For every positive emotion that you can come up with, you can come up with its negative counter part. Both of which tip you on a scale of _not_ being focused on the tasks at hand.

        Robots are and will be the superior life form for these reasons. They do not need to waste time “appreciating” or “denigrating” their perceived universe.

      • Do you wish to eliminate all emotion, or just those that hold you back? I mean, lack of all emotion will remove motivations as well…

      • Jacob says:

        For me personally, it would be the elimination of all emotion. I would never thrust my personal views on the world though. My initial point was that transhumanism will allow you to abandon these constructs if you choose to.

      • Sounds a bit strange. What would be the point of existence, if you are not motivated by anything?

        It kind of reminds me of the character Data from Star Trek. He always insisted he had no emotions, but it’s pretty clear he had them. He was motivated by aquiring knowledge and becoming a better version of himself. He was also capable of forming personal attachments and having moral principles. What he didn’t have are those “extreme” human emotions like grief, panic, humor, jealousy, any strong passion, etc.. To me, he’s a great example of the misunderstanding people often have about what it’s like to have “no emotion”.

      • Eric says:

        “Robots will be the superior life form for this reason: they do not need to waste time appreciating or denigrating their perceived universe.”

        Neither do zombies or vampires. But it hardly makes either one superior to humans. The moral sense makes us fully human—emotions are closely related to that instinct. Without it, the race would die out or degenerate to subhuman levels; regardless of the technology involved.

      • Jacob says:

        Morality, or any element that is worthy of being obeyed… is not emotionally dependent.

      • nate says:

        Then if robot-like humans will be superior, then we need to step back and acknowledge ants as the superior form of life. But the question that comes to mind is what will these superior humans build, and for who or what? There will be no creativity just raw sex in the streets – minus the orgasms, the gathering of food and the building of basic shelters. Humans will have very little self awareness. There will be no football games, television, paintings, fancy architecture, computers. There will be no inventions or the ability to express ones ideas…. Sadly, I couldn’t respond to this blog without an emotion :-(.

      • Subliminal Portal says:

        What you just described, Nate, in your last post on this discussion thread reminds me of that 1971 science-fiction movie titled “TXH 1138” starring Robert Duvall and Donald Pleasance. Except in that movie, nobody was even legally allowed to engage in sexual intercourse. They had to take pills to suppress their sexual feelings, and reproduction was all carried out through artificial means. It was a bleak existence for everyone.

    • Well, that’s a truly interesting answer.

    • Phil says:

      Now, that is an interesting concept: Transhumanism. There’s a Star Trek Next Generation episode based on that (or closely related), where an alien race are all neutral gender, but aside from that very human-looking. However, some within this race crave falling back into one gender or the other, whilst their cultural consensus views this as perverse – paralleling the plight of homosexuals in the early 20th century perhaps. Riker and a ‘female’ specimen of this alien race fall in love. ‘She’ is persecuted, and ultimately ‘treated’ to become neutral again whereupon she is happy, whilst Riker can take an objective perspective and view her as having been brainwashed to become the norm instead of her true self.

  4. nate says:

    Are you trying to open a can of worms? Sure most people would choose their own sex, especially in America. I’ll speak for mine. Most species of males truly know and enjoy what freedom really is. I hear my single women friends cry about being alone at night or not having that sense of security. I can’t imagine what kind of bondage that is. But I must say to be a male feels like being on top of the world in every department. We know we can defend ourselves by intelligence or strength, if not now, sooner or later. Not to say women don’t have either but males are programmed to think logically to master their environment and live like they want. And those who do, get more female action than they want. As for guys not getting laid, I find that the role reverses later in life and that the females have the same complaint. Either way, no one can satisfy you more sexually than yourself. Usually, hopping into the bed with that dream girl turns out to be a mirage. So not getting sex from the opposite sex could never be a deal breaker for me when there are so many other factors in life that a man get to enjoy freely more than a woman. A woman’s freedom only lies within the safety net of a man’s set of rules, laws, strength etc. In many countries women are still treated like property. In the largest cultures women pray for a male child. We need data from around the world on your question.

    • Jacob says:

      Odd, most other men would be capable of “defeating” me with strength or intelligence…

      • nate says:

        An alpha male even when he is two feet tall doesn’t think like that. To him being only two feet tall is an advantage. That’s the freedom of being born and raised a true man.

      • Jacob says:

        Yes, and being female makes you just as capable of lying to yourself that you can beat anyone up… I am still not seeing your point.

        Confidence doesn’t ever translate to the results you want, it just gives you the delusion that you are getting what you wanted.

      • nate says:

        I absolutely agree. Women for the most part don’t express strong security unless they are with a man or in a strong social group; there are exceptions. Freedom is not always easy to define -it’s often a feeling. Ex: feeling confident. A two foot tall man in prison who feels confident enough to stand his ground every time, even if he loses fights is thus more respected among men and therefore other inmates are willing to have his back based on respect.. A 7 foot cowardly inmate will continue to be picked on. Regardless of our situations, which I am sure are quite different, it’s about how we view and feel about our world. I have heard more none lesbian girls who have said they wish they could have been a boy than visa versa (usually it was in reference to the menstrual cycle). They could have said and felt that their menstrual cycle is what made them powerful. So if a delusion makes one feel free then he or she is free indeed.

      • Jacob says:

        Hang on I need to get my foot out of my mouth.

    • Phil says:

      ‘I hear my single women friends cry about being alone at night or not having that sense of security. I can’t imagine what kind of bondage that is’.
      Maybe they do, but sorry that’s BS. Self-indulgence. Unless she’s pig-ugly, she can find intimacy at the very least, at the drop of a hat. Yes, a soul-mate is harder to come by for us all, but most heterosexual men would be very happy with an attractive fuck-buddy, complimented by normal friends. That would sufficient to quell loneliness. There’s no reason why a woman should not take the same view. Plenty of willing guys to do their best to be her fuck-buddy,

  5. Pingback: What sex would you want to be born as? | Truth ...

  6. Liz says:

    I LOVE being a girl. 🙂
    The hormone thing (high maintenance equipment we’ve got) is a drag. Right now I’m nursing a cyst on my ovary (get those almost every month).
    But I’m beyond ecstatic that I have only sons (and my husband is gladder still). Think having daughters might kill him. Now that our first and second sons are teens, he often says he’s glad we don’t have daughters. Really a lot easier (if the daughters were very beautiful, like our boys, it would be a big worry…but if they were homely that would be even more tragic).

    • Haha, why would daughters bother your husband? 🙂

      • Liz says:

        He doesn’t want to think about someone else’s sons having sex with them.
        Think about it this way…we have friends with a son who is the quarterback of the football team, senior year. They’re almost proud of his exploits (“we’re always finding condoms in his room” and so forth). There aren’t a lot of parents who boast about their daughters exploits the same way. Not that I’d boast (I find that a little weird and borderline creepy), but I worry far far less having sons.
        “I met a chick at the dance club and banged her in the parking lot” is never going to be the same as “I met this guy at the club and blew him in the parking lot!” It just isn’t.

      • Heh, ok, I see what you mean. Dads can be so overprotective. Maybe there is a good reason for that.

      • Liz says:

        Or, think of the male stripper versus the female stripper.
        “Yeah, I banged a lot of girls back then…it was kind of like Sodom and Gomorah being a male stripper…”
        “I was handing out hand jobs left and right back when I was a stripper…”

      • Phil says:

        ‘ Dads can be so overprotective. Maybe there is a good reason for that.’
        It’s because they want to sexually own their daughters, but are heavily in self-denial about this since it’s obviously a profound taboo.

      • You mean they want to control them and choose the best possible mate for them, so their genes don’t get muddled by someone unsuitable?..

  7. Subliminal Portal says:

    I have nothing against transgenders and I’m well aware that this blog sheet really has nothing to do with that particular subject, but that whole Bruce Jenner thing simply freaks me out big time; and I couldn’t see myself doing the same thing as him, especially by the time I get to be his age, nor do I have the desire to do so. Nevertheless, Emma, you bring up some very interesting points about females having it so much better than males in so many ways. At least in the free, democratic, and industrialized First World, that is. My sister is not much older than me, and it seems that she has gotten the better end of the deal most of her life than I have with much less effort than me. She now makes a six-figure income, even though she did not have a college degree last time I check. She has never had to face any kind of crisis in life that I know of. She is one of those women who got to marry into everything she needed at age 22 and got the house, the picket fence and the 2.2 kids. She also takes a very cavalier attitude about it all as well, because she faces no stigmatization of failing at anything in life. If she had no career, society would not frown upon her for simply being a suburban housewife. Men don’t get that free pass in life, at least not here in the United States of America. Society doesn’t seem to take into consideration the depressed state of the economy or anything else that poses uncontrollable setbacks to men’s road to success. My mother always goes on about how she would like to have a grandson. She has two granddaughters. My sister doesn’t want to have any more kids, and I really don’t want a son inasmuch as I’ve seen nothing but troubled father-son relationships dating back to my paternal great grandfather. Therefore, I’m constantly having to shove it in my mother’s face that she might just be S.O.L. (which here in the U.S.A. means “shit out of luck.” Pardon my French.) However, I really don’t feel it’s her choice to make on whether or not I have a son, and somehow I don’t think she would be as happy with a grandson as she continues to insist that she would. Little boys can be extremely ornery and hyperactive. They break and destroy things too. When they hit their teens, they can become extremely violent and destructive and even end up in gangs like those teenage boys in that British film titled Eden Lake. I somehow don’t see my mother liking that scenario, but she continues to live in this fantasy world of believing that her grandson who may never be born would likely be this sweet, lovable, little tyke whose behavior would be too good for words. It’s as though she constantly desires something that she knows she probably cannot have. A female scientist once said on this one television show on The Science Channel that the Y chromosome is shrinking with each generation and eventually there will be no males left on this Earth. I’ve heard of some scientific fertilization method in which two eggs from two different females can be used to procreate a baby girl. Therefore, I don’t think this prospective forthcoming event signifies the extinction of the human race altogether but rather the extinction of the human male. However, if this is true, my question is why would any member of the human race want to be a gender that will eventually disappear from existence.

    • nate says:

      “Men don’t get that free pass in life”. Isn’t your sibling husband successful which was her free ticket or did she marry a woman and adopt kids? It seems that you have sibling animosity. Boys destroy things which is a natural expression of freedom and those same boys become men and build empires made of concrete , wood, metal etc. I am missing something here. I have been enjoying so many liberties that I am not understanding.

      • Subliminal Portal says:

        Nate? I don’t know if “sibling animosity” would be the correct term to describe my feelings towards my sister. Anyhow, let me just say this. I was the good kid growing up who was always in the house before curfew and got the straight A’s in school. My sister was the slacker who spent most of her adolescent years partying and rebelling against our mother and father. However, somehow she ended up being the one who got all the goodies in life with little or no effort, and I ended up being the one to struggle for anything I wanted and not always getting them. It wasn’t because she was a better person than me in any way, but rather because she got all the breaks in life that I felt I should have gotten. Also, she has never faced a single crisis in her entire life, whereas my life has been a never-ending myriad of one crisis after another despite my undivided ongoing efforts to steer clear of problems. She has verbally expressed that she believes that she somehow has greater success-achieving talents than I do, but such a belief of hers could never be further from the truth. Fact has it that if she were born a male, she would never be where she is today. She would have been much worse off now than I am. From the time she was 22 years old, she had a husband with a secure job to fall back on in the event that her endeavors didn’t turn out the way she wanted them to do so. However, because she didn’t have the pressure of facing financial ruin in the event of failure, it was easier for her to attain those goals of hers. I’ve never had that luxury; and even when a man is married, society expects him to be the breadwinner rather than relying on his wife for financial support. It’s like the actor Steve Martin said in one of his films. “Women now have choices, but men still have responsibilities.”

      • Subliminal Portal says:

        I have one curiosity, Nate. Do you have any sisters?

      • nate says:

        I come from a family of five -three sisters and a brother. One sister is not “successful”. I like to believe that success depends upon ones expectation and attitude about ones own life. Your sister’s success seems to fall under the realms of a man who is successful. If her relationship crumbles, how easy would it be for her to find another successful man? If the answer is “easy” then that means it’s easy to be a successful man and being a man is good thing. Otherwise, she is just lucky. Statistically in the U.S., there are more women raising children alone than men. Not only that, but it is not uncommon for the woman to be the bread-winner in the household. I don’t see the traditional roles you are talking about as much in today’s society. I wouldn’t want anything handed to me without it being earned. I enjoy failure which is a part of success. Providing you are in good health, I rather be in your shoes than hers.

    • I don’t think men are going anywhere any time soon. There are more of them born than women, and their talents and character make civilizations possible.

      • Subliminal Portal says:

        Nataliya? I’ve always been confident in the trustworthiness of the information that “The Science Channel” provides to the public at large. However, the YouTube video that infowarrior1 exemplified appears to present a challenge to that scientist who claimed that the male human will eventually go extinct. I will keep my ears open to new scientific developments on this issue as they appear. I guess one also has to be careful about which scientist they rely upon for accurate information, because there is junk science out there also that can find its way into even the most sophisticated media like “The Science Channel.” It’s just like that nonsense that came out not too long ago on the local news where I live that claimed that men over 45 years of age stand a significantly greater likelihood of fathering birth-defected children than younger men. I’ve met a lot of people throughout my life who were born to 45-plus-year-old fathers, and not one of them had birth defects. Therefore, I constantly find myself sniping at these idiots who promote this junk science of the so-called older father being a reproductive hazard to humanity.
        In any event, I was glad that you and infowarrior1 responded to my post..

      • I’m not too familiar with the workings of the Y chromosome, but the idea that it’s disappearing sounds suspicious to me. Lets see what Wikipedia thinks… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y_chromosome#Degeneration

  8. Eric says:

    There’s no advantage to being male in the Femincentric Anglosphere: this is why 99% of transgenders go from male to female.

    • nate says:

      The “femincentric anglosphere” is an attempt to even the playing grounds for women to enjoy the same liberties as men. Still, on average, men enjoy more success and freedom. For example, salaries. However, the gap is closing.

    • You know, I was thinking about this. Would I still want to be female if I ived in a non-feminist country? And I don’t know. I used to live in Russia and can’t say women around me had it worse than men. A male equivalent of me would not necessarily have it any better.
      Other countries, I dunno. In a war-ridden country, females are raped and males are shot. At least in the former case, I could have a chance to feign loyalty and avenge myself while the rapist is in his sleep. But it’s hard to imagine what I’d prefer, since I only know two countries.

    • Phil says:

      I agree with Eric on this, up to a point. Social engineering is what is going on indeed, but I’m doubtful whether it’s working towards an androgynous society. Rather I think it’s a case of women wanting to rebuild society in their own image, to suit their own psycho-sexual needs and to hell with men’s welfare. Admittedly this is maybe a reaction to centuries of of ‘the patriarchal society’, but there’s very little patriarchal about it now, aside from salaries (or the gender oppression prevalent in the Islam world). Personally, I don’t give a monkeys for my (supposedly) higher earning privilege. I’d swap this any day for the power of being an attractive woman who can find intimacy at the drop of a hat and play endless power games with the male gender whom she has on a string.

  9. Julian O'Dea says:

    It is good to be a woman; but it is better to be a man.

    Men have achieved much more than women intellectually and that is enough.

    • I have to ask though. Would this still be relevant, if you yourself didn’t participate in any of these achievements?

      • Julian O'Dea says:

        Good question, but yes. And I have tried to use my masculine mind likewise.

        There are a few women who can be as clever and creative as men. But very few.

        Woman is the second sex. There is no escaping that.

      • Interesting. But I have to say that mentality would make no sense to me. Who cares what my group has done, if I’m not one of its more accomplished members? It’s like being proud of being jewish, gay, Russian, or whatever. Can’t be proud of something I haven’t done.

  10. David Foster says:

    Jacob…”Why do you think having emotions is a good thing?”

    The concept of “good” is meaningless, absent emotions.

    -David Foster

  11. David Foster says:

    I would imagine that creating a realistic character of the opposite sex is one of the most difficult things that fiction writers have to do.

    It would be an interesting class exercise to have everyone write a short story focused on the emotions & experiences of an imaginary person of the opposite sex…these stories then to be critiqued by *real* people of that sex.

    • Interesting thoughts.
      My comics are full of male characters already. I’d have to ask a man what he thinks of them.

    • Subliminal Portal says:

      David? There was actually a movie like this released back in 2005 titled “Zerophilia.” Unfortunately, I only caught the movie in the middle of it. However, if it was ever shown again, I’d watch it from beginning to end. It was a unique film with a unique plot. Click onto http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0421090/?ref_=ttpl_pl_tt

    • Phil says:

      Yep, an interesting challenge indeed. As soon as I attempt it, however, I find it hard to see past the sheer magnificent power any half-attractive female has regards the mating game. I guess this becomes boring for them, though, as with anything in the end. Is this why so many sexy girls walk around looking as miserable as sin? They’ve come to realise that, actually, they have nothing – or at least nothing more than any ugly brute of a guy.

  12. David Foster says:

    Post some excerpts here and ask the crew!

    • Liz says:

      It always surprised me that The Outsiders was written by a teenaged girl.

    • Liz says:

      Male, first person:

      When I met her I was working at a pizza place near the beach. It was about 10:30 on a Wednesday night when she came in. I was behind the counter and the place was empty except for me, so I was watching TV. I had the door propped open and could still hear the waves gently collapsing onto the beach over the sound of whatever I was watching. There was a light breeze that would occasionally make its way through the door. This was one of those nights that was so beautiful it could make me forget that everything in my life hadn’t been exactly smooth. I even thought about shutting down the place early since there was hardly anyone on the boardwalk, but I knew the boss would go off the deep end if he somehow found out that I had left even a little before 11:00.

      She stepped through the door and into the light of the shop and walked directly towards me. I was used to seeing beautiful girls at Santa Monica beach, yet it never got old. There was always the exhilaration followed immediately by the impulse to act disinterested, as if I slept with so many hot women that I was bored by it all. She was looking at the menu that was over the counter as she approached the register. Although I probably wouldn’t have fooled anyone, in my mind I looked perfectly uninvolved, but since she wasn’t looking at me maybe I’d sneak a quick peek. Just then she looked straight into my eyes. I was glad to have had a few seconds to get into my disinterested role because her gaze was arresting. Her eyes were so deep and focused that for a moment I lost track of my thoughts.

      I smiled casually and said, “What can I do for you?” Her face was expressionless. She paused for just long enough to make me feel uncomfortable before saying, “I want something to eat.” She hadn’t reacted at all to my smile and I felt it melt away. “Well that’s what we do here. What would you like?” She looked away for a moment and then focused right into my eyes again. “You’re the chef,” she said, “you figure it out.”

      Before I could think of anything clever to say she turned and walked over to a table that was next to the window. I tried not to watch her walk away, but could not help myself. She was wearing short cutoff blue jeans, a white t-shirt and flip-flops. I only looked for a second, but I was staggered. She was slender with narrow hips and had beautiful legs. Her skin was not very dark, but contrasted seductively with her white shirt. My brief stare was enough to cause a stir in me, and in some recess of my mind I marveled at how quickly chemicals are transferred around in the human body.

      I looked at the few old pizza slices sitting under the shelf and decided to make a new pie for her. Certainly it did not make sense to bake a new pizza just before closing, but I could always take the leftovers home. I decided that if I were going to be cooking leftovers I’d might as well make a large. As I began work on the pizza I casually looked up to see her. She was sitting facing the door, and her head was slightly cocked towards the window. Now that she was in profile I could finally take a long look. My hands worked automatically on the dough while my mind was elsewhere.

      She had a mop of disheveled jet-black hair that didn’t quite touch her shoulders. Her arms were toned and thin and she had chipped black polish on her short fingernails. Her breasts that were not very large and it didn’t look like she was wearing a bra. My gaze continued to drift down to where her shorts had drifted up to the top of her thighs close to her hip joint. Her feet were crossed underneath the chair. She was absolutely beautiful, but not in the traditional southern California sense. In fact, I’m sure that most of the local crowd wouldn’t even notice her next to all the Pamela Anderson types on the beach. As I put the finishing touches on the pizza I decided she was probably the “weird girl” in high school. Speaking of that, how old was she? I had no idea- maybe 22; maybe 32- there was no way to be sure.

      She never looked away from the window the entire time I was cooking the pizza. I looked out to see what she was watching, but there was nothing but a reflection of the moon on the ocean. I would have to think of something clever to say to get her to take an interest in me. It was pretty clear that some comment about her beautiful eyes wasn’t going to work well. Watching the clock, I actually was dreading the fact that the pizza couldn’t stay in the oven a little longer so I could put off getting shot down a little while.

      After taking the pizza from the oven I cut it in half and brought it over to the table. I carried the pizza tray in one hand with the other behind my back. She never took her eyes away from the window until I set the pizza on the table. She shifted her eyes to study the food I had prepared. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want one piece or two,” I said casually. She looked up at me and I brought my hand from behind my back to place a knife on the table. For a moment, her eyes changed, but she did not smile. I met her look with my own approximation of complete stoicism. She didn’t say anything for a moment, and it felt as if she was stealing my gaze so I could not look away. “And do we have anything to drink here?” she said without blinking. This time I did not ask her what she wanted, but left without a word.

      I went to the refrigerator in the back of the store and pulled out a bottle of red wine that had probably been opened yesterday or the day before. I was amazed at how awkward I felt. I had dealt with plenty of girls who wouldn’t talk to you unless you were driving a Ferrari, but this was different. I didn’t know what to make of her. I poured the wine into a Styrofoam cup and took it to her. I set it on the table and noticed she had cut a small piece from one half of the pizza. She was eating while looking out the window and gave me a quick look before I departed. For the first time noticed her eyes were actually dark brown. She wasn’t wearing any makeup that I could tell except some black eyeliner that went all the way around her eyes.

      As she ate I stood behind the counter and tried to watch TV, but I could not stop thinking about her. I watched her as she looked out the window and drank the wine. She had only eaten a very small piece of the large pizza I made. I felt completely uneasy about her. I had met many girls that were beautiful and cold, but something about her was different. She had a strange beauty, and she wasn’t cold. She was dark. I desperately wanted to make some kind of connection with her, but I couldn’t think of anything I could do to make that happen. Certainly I couldn’t ask her out to a movie. I felt tortured with the idea that in a few moments she would walk out and I would never see her again. There was nothing I could do about it. In the background the there was some inane applause on the TV but I was in my own private agony. I would have to let her go.

      As I was contemplating my fate she pushed the chair back and walked over to me. She was still holding the half cup of wine when she reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of crumpled money. She set the money on the counter top and looked at me without saying a word. Her full bottom lip was prominent even without lipstick. “Keep your money, it’s on me”, I said with a slight smile. “Keep it,” she said. “Your pizza sucks.” With that she turned and walked out taking a long drink from the cup. The sign by the door saying all alcohol must be consumed in the restaurant seemed absurd. My eyes were locked on the area where the back of her thighs met her cutoffs. I was completely hooked and heartbroken all at the same time. I couldn’t believe that in a few minutes she had done this to me without even trying.

      That night I didn’t sleep well. It seemed like every 15 minutes I awoke with the image of her sitting and looking out the window. I could see every detail clearly. I had never felt desire like this before in my life. In fact, I had never even felt anything close to this. It wasn’t just lust, but a complete fascination with this dark and brooding girl. In a way it was frightening to feel this way. It was as if there was nothing I would deny her. If she asked me to rob a liquor store to get her a piece of gum I would do it. If she told me to give her all my money I would do it. My mind was racked with ideas of how I could find her. Even roaming the streets aimlessly looking for her seemed like a somewhat reasonable plan if there was any chance at all it would work.

      The next several days passed in a haze. I thought about her constantly and couldn’t sleep. At work I was exhausted. I tried taking naps but the result was the same torment I had at night in bed. I talked to people, but I would find that I wouldn’t even know what we had talked about when the conversation ended. My appetite was all but gone. My rational mind knew this was insane. A mysterious girl came into my restaurant for a few minutes and told me my pizza sucked, and for this my life was turned upside down. I recalled a quote I had once read from Oscar Wilde- “The mystery of love is greater even than the mystery of death.” This made me wonder if the long dead author had ever been in this kind of hell.

      It had been 3 days since I first saw her when she walked in again. It was once again near closing time. She looked exactly as she had before, except she was wearing a loose black t-shirt with the logo of some obscure band on it. There was a couple laughing and flirting at one of the tables, but suddenly I felt alone with her. I stared blankly, but my pulse jumped erratically upward in just a second or two so that I could hear my heartbeat in my ear. Her eyes bore into me, yet she betrayed no emotion. Her black hair haphazardly framed her face.

      When she stopped in front of me, I spoke first. “I thought my pizza sucked,” I said. “It did,” she said. “But you can try again, and burn it this time.” She started to turn, but I stopped her. “Wait. What’s your name?” I asked my heart still pounding. Her lips pursed ever so slightly and then she turned and walked to her seat by the window.

      I was (expletive). In the past 3 days I had done nothing but think about this girl, and she wouldn’t even tell me her name. As I watched her stare out the window my anger quickly passed and returned to utter obsession. She was so beautiful in her way that my heart actually ached. The thought of spending a moment without her was almost unbearable and I didn’t even know her name.

      I burned the pizza, but this time I cut it up into regular slices. I also poured her a cup of wine. I brought them to the table and she brought her gaze from the window onto me. Neither of us said anything and the second seemed freeze in time. She glanced down at the pizza glanced and I began to turn. “Rachel,” she said. I turned back around to squarely face her. As I told her my name I saw sadness around her eyes and then it was gone. I turned to go back behind the counter and every gland in my brain was releasing all its chemicals at once causing total emotional overload. This feeling passed briefly as the giggling couple approached the register to pay their bill. The transaction was automatic and I could not have recognized either of them after they left if my life depended on it.

      She ate a whole piece of pizza this time, which was quite a bit more than the partial piece she ate last time. Watching her eat was bliss and torment at the same time. I wanted to tell her everything, yet there was no way to do it. What was I going to do- go up and say, “I’m madly in love with you and want to be together forever?” For a moment I almost chuckled to myself as I thought about how I had dazzled her with charm and conversation. Just then she got up and carried the rest of the pizza and her wine cup towards me. She set the pizza on the counter and said, “I want you to come with me.” I said, “okay” sensing that asking any questions could only ruin this. I flipped off the oven as she said, “bring the wine.” I grabbed the only bottle of wine in the store and headed to the front of the store, leaving the pizza on the counter. She was standing just outside the doorway in the darkness. My heart was racing as I turned out the lights and locked the door.

      • David Foster says:

        Pretty well-done, in fact very well-done…where is it from?

        The only thing that feels a little unrealistic is the part about “how quickly chemicals are transferred around”…this is the sort of thing someone might well reflect on *later*, but would be unlikely to think in real time at the very beginning of an infatuation.

      • Is it a horror story? 🙂

      • Liz says:

        Thanks David Foster. 🙂
        It was a story I was working on a while back…but kind of abandoned it.
        Not a horror story, Emma. But now that you mention it….it could be! That’s a pretty good idea.
        Maybe I’ll work on that one next. (after the war dog/ghost story) 🙂

      • Subliminal Portal says:

        Liz? I used to live in West Los Angeles. It was a 15 to 20 minute ride from where I lived to Santa Monica on the bus. Your description of the scenery and the atmosphere of Santa Monica is for the most part accurate. Did you used to live there?

      • Liz says:

        Subliminal Portal, I’ve never actually lived in Santa Monica, but I’ve been there a couple of times.

      • Liz says:

        Dude continues when random female mother enters the forum:

        Random female mother: “Hi everyone. I have sons. This forum is interesting…”

        Dude: “HAH! You’re an awful mother. Your sons will be gay and you wear the strap-on and peg your husband. I feel sorry for that douchbag being married to you. You’re just waiting to screw someone like ME! Bitch! But I don’t want you….my ex was so much hotter than you. In fact, the girl I’m screwing right now as I type (while making three figures on hour) is much hotter and younger than you…

        Come on bitches! Rhet…rhetorically battle with me. Can’t handle it, can you? Oh…you old slatterns. You’re so afraid of intelligent conversation…”

      • Liz says:

        Oops…this bit was intended to go under the first one below.

    • Are comic book sketches ok?

    • Liz says:

      Here’s an excerpt describing a “PUA” guy in the manosphere attempting to get females to leave the site (third person). And I know I got this one EXACTLY right:

      Dude, our protagonist, begins to babble like a crazy Uncle. Or Gollum.

      Dude: “I’m so happy and successful! I have pussy galore! You know what? I’m getting some hot young snatch right now! That’s right RIGHT NOW! It’s how I get back at all you bitches tellin’ me I’m not entitled to hot young pussy!!!”

      Random female: “Um, okay. You certainly sound very successful and happy…”

      Dude: “Shut up cunt! You’re jealous my life is so awesome! You’re weeping into your cup of old lady Earl Grey tea. I’m staring at some REALLY young boobs RIGHT NOW! Read it and weep. YAR!”

      Random female: Confused silence

      Dude continues: “You’re just a troll! HAHAHAHA!!!
      You’re just afraid because I’m getting so much hot young sex, I’m a tiger…and SO rich, successful and attractive. You smelly old buggy-eyed bitches.”

  13. Matthew Chiglinsky says:

    You don’t mind menstruation and pregnancy?

    I don’t mind being male to miss those things. Don’t you know the secret to “getting laid”? All you have to do is find a girl desperate enough to go out on a date with you and then coerce her into having sex once the two of you are alone. Most girls are submissive and won’t put up much of a fight (or so I hear).

    … not that I’ve ever tried this. I was raised to be spiritual and resist sexual temptation as much as possible, although I often wonder what my life would have been like if Internet porn didn’t exist. It’s hard to know whether it would have been better or worse, since porn has existed for so long now.

    I wonder what life was like for men and women 100 – 500 years ago. That was real life back then. Modern men and women are not real men and women like they were meant to be.

    • Well, I don’t generally mind menstruation. Male equipment has its own challenges, so it’s ok. But right now, I don’t even have menstruation due to a subdermal contraceptive implant. I don’t have pregnancy for the same reason.

    • nate says:

      You describe yourself as type of male she would be afraid to be. As a male most women would want to have it easy to find a mate. “All you have to do is find a girl desperate enough” Most decent looking girls are not desperate enough unless you exhibit attractive qualities about yourself. I hope you don’t ever try that trick unless you turn them on first -I’m sure you posess good communication skills. Otherwise, they are not too submissive.

      Before internet porn there were brothels. Imagine having to guide your horse and carriage by a brothel every day, would you sneak a peek and see if there is a woman in the window? And since there would be no porn, would you be tempted to see what a woman’s body look like in its full glory? I think the temptation would still be there but with more curiosity. In today’s world, if a man is curios, he can get online.

  14. Matthew Chiglinsky says:

    By the way, the sexual frustration you mention is the reason why it’s rude for girls to show off their bodies in public. I’m glad to find at least one female in the world who came close to recognizing this.

    But it seems like many modern girls are like, “It’s my body, and I’ll slut if I want to, slut if I want to.” which is incredibly selfish. I don’t need to have sex with you. Just don’t get me all riled up for nothing. Hide the goods.

  15. caba says:

    I’m a man.
    I wish I had been born a woman.
    There are many reason for this, but if I were to list them, what Emma said woud be on top – no effort to get laid. Sure, I would have to take care of my beauty as I age. But that is much easier than what men have to do.
    In fact, men not only have to pursue girls all the time, pay for dates, risk rejection, and all these exasperating things… not only that, but the very reason men need to work hard all their life and make money and stress themselves to death is to please women, who judge men for their wallet, their car and home, their ambition and work ethics, their workplace status and general “success”. Women have the freedom to choose not to compete in the soul sucking game of money-making and “success” without much of a negative consequence. They’ll still get love and sex as much as otherwise. And by the way that’s reason that the usual talking point, that being female supposedly sucks because it’s supposedly harder to achieve a position of authority, is beside the point. Women have much less need to play that game to begin with.
    Even if an unfortunate woman never gets a man, or can’t get one because she hit the wall, she has the potential to be just as happy. Her sexual lust is less than a man’s, and will probably disappear in old age anyways. As for love, she has siblings, pets, and above all her network of friends, which women are better than men at developing. Whereas men are miserable without a woman. That’s why statistically, female widows live their full life span, whereas male widowers die quickly.
    Men may be better than women at “achieving” things for civilization such as going to the moon, but how does this make it better to be born one? If you are born a woman, your civilization still has men supporting it, and you as an individual will reap the benefits, and enjoy the computers and all the other things made by men.
    Women are assumed not to be competent on masculine skills. On the other hand, men are assumed not to be competent at nursing, teaching kids, homekeeping, an so on. The situation is perfectly simmetrical. Women, however, have an advantage – they won’t be shamed for doing masculine things, whereas men who enjoy anything feminine will be labeled “gay”.
    Somebody said that men have more freedom because they can defend themselves. Is this the stone age? I don’t know about America, but I live in Europe, in a country where crime is relatively low, and women go everywhere without excessive trouble.
    Somebody said that men get more respect. My impression is rather that the generic woman is valued much more (by acquaintances, stranger, society) than the generic man. You can see it in many ways. For example if a woman is in trouble, everyone empathizes, everyone rushes to protect her, that precious creature. A man in trouble, nobody even notices.
    Giving birth to children is a nuisance, but entirely optional. Alternatives include childfreedom and adoption.
    I can’t see any big advantage of being a man, other than avoiding menstruation.

    • caba says:

      To be fair, proof is too big of a word.
      Let me rephrase that line as “evidence that being female makes people appreciate you”.

  16. nate says:

    Females are appreciated more as a sexual object as well as someone who is most likely to be non-hostile emotionally and physically. But being female doesn’t make you valued or respected more outside of sexual parameters. But yeah, I like to be around beautiful women all day long…

  17. Phil says:

    “Being male would make dating so much harder. Getting laid would take real effort. I heard the male sex drive is quite strong, and being celibate sucks.”
    Understatements of the century (nay – Millennia!) right there. In another thread you quoted the eternal truism, ‘women are the gatekeepers of sex’. Aside from the odd rape by the odd ruthless guy who is also stupid enough to criminalise himself and not intelligent enough to know that that is not going to bring him true satisfaction, of COURSE women are gatekeepers of sex. For this reason ALONE, I’d choose to be a female if I were born again, just to experience that stupendous POWER. There is a rider to this, though: I would only want to be a female who is at least averagely attractive by the standards of her contemporaries. What kind of female would I be? The answer to that is wildly different, depending on if we’re assuming I have a memory of my ‘past (oppressed) life’ as a male. If this is the case, I’d be a kind-hearted woman who GIVES – and I mean GIVES, not just to an alpha but actually to men who deserve it, need it, and whose needs I understood absolutely. If I had no memory of being a man, then I guess I’d be your typical aloof, callous and prohibitive female who thinks she is the fairer sex but actually is utterly ruthless.

    • “What kind of female would I be? The answer to that is wildly different, depending on if we’re assuming I have a memory of my ‘past (oppressed) life’ as a male. If this is the case, I’d be a kind-hearted woman who GIVES – and I mean GIVES, not just to an alpha but actually to men who deserve it, need it, and whose needs I understood absolutely. If I had no memory of being a man, then I guess I’d be your typical aloof, callous and prohibitive female who thinks she is the fairer sex but actually is utterly ruthless”

      Interesting speculation. I guess one’s psychology would change too. As a woman, you’d be pickier, even if you didn’t want to be. But you wouldn’t necessarily be callous and prohibitive. Learning about the other sex also teaches empathy for the other sex.

      • Phil says:

        ‘Learning about the other sex also teaches empathy for the other sex.’ I agree, but you’d have to a memory of being the opposite sex in a past life, otherwise you have no idea what it’s like for them.

      • You can read what they have to say 🙂 It doesn’t mean you will understand them like they understand themselves, but it’s often good enough.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s