When I was a kid, I stumbled upon the realization that jealousy feels good. I couldn’t understand why everyone was saying it’s a negative emotion. I was always into self-improvement and setting up high goals for myself, so seeing someone have more than me was a big motivator. It also motivated me to covertly bring other people down, but I didn’t care back then. What can I say, conscience develops slowly. Children are somewhat sociopathic, and adults are clearly the better people.
It only hurts me now, because I wish I haven’t used my envy in destructive ways. Hurting someone who doesn’t deserve it is just uncalled for. So I suppose inappropriate reactions to jealousy can lead to eventually developing a conscience and then regretting it.
That feels negative.
Other than that, jealousy still feels like a positive feeling to me today. It motivates me to achieve more, without hurting anyone who doesn’t deserve it. I’m also discriminating about who I feel jealous of, and what I feel jealous about. I know some things are not worth striving for, and instead dedicate my time to what is worth it. I don’t constantly feel like the grass is always greener on the other side. I never want to “be someone else”. I’m also aware that someone out there is probably jealous of me right now, in some way.
What do you think of jealousy and how do you experience it?